Healthy Living: My WebMD Debut

Happiness, connection, time outside, and enjoyable
movement are all important parts of healthy living.
Photo by Brian H. Williams

Earlier this year, I was disheartened to find my debut WebMD article (I was not the author but was cited as an expert), was replaced on their site. It was a highlight of my career at the time when WebMD interviewed me. Twice! And although I did the interview at least three years after my wedding, I remember when I read the article I was thinking, Who is this Williams? 😆 

Luckily, I was able to easily find multiple pilfered copies of the article by googling my name plus WebMD. Since my previous links will no longer work, I copied the original version and pasted it below. I'm not sure of the exact date the article was written, but it's between 2008-2010, when I was living in Atlanta. It's all still relevant* and encompasses many aspects of well-being. You can find my insights in steps 1, 3, 4, and 5. Enjoy!

*Note: If I were the author of this article, I would not include "Gauge Your Girth" in Step 1. I'll write a blog post about my reasoning in the near future and link it back here. 

Healthy Living: 8 Steps To Take Today

By Miranda Hitti, WebMD 

Healthy living is within your reach, starting today. Sure, healthy living is a long-term commitment, not a flash-in-the-pan fad. But there are steps you can take right now that will make today healthier than yesterday and pave the way for healthy living tomorrow, too.

Here’s your checklist of practical healthy living tips that are ready to go. Let’s get started.

Healthy Living Step No. 1: Take stock.

Your first step toward healthy living is to get a handle on your health status right now. Here’s your to-do list:

• Make appointments with your doctor and dentist. Catch up on your routine screening and immunizations, and take the opportunity to ask your doctor any questions you might have.
• Gauge your girth. Measure your height and weight to check your BMI, and measure your waist circumference to see if you’re overweight and if your waistline is putting your health at risk.
• Assess your activity. How much physical activity do you get in a typical week? How intense is that activity? How much variety do you get in your activity, and how much do you enjoy it? The CDC recommends that adults get at least two and a half hours per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or one hour and 15 minutes per week of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, plus muscle-strengthening activities at least two days per week.
• Keep a food diary. Write down everything you eat for a day — and no fair skipping the items you’re embarrassed about. “The idea is to write it down … without judgment,” says Kathianne Sellers Williams, MEd, RD, LD, a nutritionist, wellness coach, and personal trainer in Atlanta. “You can’t change what you’re not aware of or don’t acknowledge.”
• Check your mood and energy. Healthy living includes emotional wellness and adequate rest. How has your mood been lately? Are you experiencing any symptoms of depression or anxiety? Do you usually sleep well for seven to eight hours a night?
• Consider your social network. How strong are your connections with family and friends? Are you plugged in with social or spiritual groups that enrich your life? “People have a fundamental need for positive and lasting relationships,” C. Nathan DeWall, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky, tells WebMD.

If you’re not thrilled with the answers to some of those questions, remember that the point is to figure out where you are today so you can set your healthy living goals. It’s not about being “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong.”

Healthy Living Step No. 2: Put out fires.

If you know that you have chronic health problems, whether it’s heart disease, diabetes, depression, arthritis, or other conditions, treatment is an obvious priority for healthy living. The same goes for risky behaviors, such as smoking, and addictions of any kind.

Addressing these issues typically isn’t a do-it-yourself task. Partner with your doctor. Make the phone call today to schedule that appointment. 

Healthy Living Step No. 3: Move more.

• Make it fun. Go on a hike, walk with friends, take a bellydancing or karate class, or whatever you enjoy. “There’s no need to stick to cardioequipment in the gym if you’re dreading it and you don’t like it,” Williams says. “Find something that’s fun.”
• Keep track of it. Make a note of your physical activity in your date book or calendar. “Put big Xs on the days that you exercise,” Williams says. “Keep a visual record that you look at frequently” as a reminder and motivator.
• Set a weekly goal for activity. To build your confidence, “make the first goal so easy that you say, ‘I know I can do that,'” Williams suggests. She recommends weekly goals because if you set a daily goal and miss a day, you might get discouraged; weekly goals give you more day-to-day flexibility. And at the end of the week, reward yourself with a visual reminder of your accomplishment, such as buying flowers for yourself.
• Work activity into your day. “Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing. So even if you have 10 minutes, it’s better than zero minutes,” Williams says. She suggests taking a 10-minute walk before lunch or walking up and down the stairs when you’re feeling drained and tired.

Other ideas include wearing a pedometer to track how many steps you take per day (health experts recommend shooting for 10,000 steps per day) and working with a personal trainer (double up with a friend to lower the cost) to create an exercise routine.

Healthy Living Step No. 4: Upgrade your diet.

Williams, a nutritionist for a dozen years, says her diet advice isn’t about eating certain foods and avoiding others as much as it is about awareness and choices. Here are her pointers:

• Replace “I should” with “I choose.” So instead of “I should be eating more fruits and vegetables,” it’s “I choose to eat more fruits and vegetables” or “I choose not to,” because it’s more powerful language,” Williams says. “It shows that you’re in control, you’re making the choice. So if you choose to or you choose not to, you make the choice and you move on.”
• Skip the guilt. “Usually, whenever someone feels guilty about something, it feeds right back to the behavior that they’re trying to get rid of,” Williams says. “So if someone is an emotional eater and they say, ‘I know I shouldn’t be doing this,” it implies more guilt and judgment on themselves, they feel worse, and then they end up eating to comfort themselves.”
• Choose to plan. Stock your pantry with healthy fare and bring healthy snacks with you so you’re prepared when you get hungry. “When we’re really hungry, our physiology kicks in and that’s when we’re craving the hamburger and fries; we’re not craving a salad,” Williams says.
• Slow down and savor your food. Don’t watch TV, work, or drive while you’re eating. “A lot of people tell me, ‘My problem is that I really like food,’ but I think that’s a really good thing,” Williams says. “If you really enjoy food, sit down and enjoy your meal. You’re much more likely to feel psychologically satisfied if you don’t multitask while you’re eating.”
• Shoot for five to nine daily servings of varied fruits and vegetables. Cover the rainbow of fruit and vegetable colors to get a good mix of nutrients. “If you’re not getting the rainbow, you’re probably not getting all the nutrients that you need,” Williams says.

Healthy Living Step No. 5: Manage stress.

• Routine maintenance: Develop positive coping skills, such as meditation and visualization, and look for activities, such as yoga or exercise, to keep your baseline stress level in check.
• Breakthrough stress: Find ways to handle stressful situations that flare up without warning. For instance, Williams says that after a stressful meeting at work, you might run up and down the stairs a few times to burn off anger, or retreat to a bathroom stall to take a few deep breaths and refocus.
• Check your perspective. Ask yourself, “Will this matter to me a year from now?” If not, why are you getting so wound up?
• Volunteer. Helping to meet other peoples’ needs may make your own problems seem smaller.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the positive people, events, and things that you’re thankful for. “It really switches the focus to, ‘Wow, look how much I have,” Williams says. “Most stress is caused by wishing things were different than they are now.”
• Breathe. One of the breathing exercises that Williams recommends is to count your breaths for a minute, and then try to cut that number of breaths in half for the next minute.

Healthy Living Step No. 6: Sleep better.

If you have trouble sleeping, try these tips from sleep medicine specialist Lisa Shives, MD, medical director of Northshore Sleep Medicine in Evanston, Ill.

• No TV or computer two hours before bedtime. It’s not just because the TV and computer are stimulating; it’s also because of their light. “We’re very sensitive to the cue that light gives you that it’s time to be up and about,” Shives says. She recommends light, calming reading lit by a lamp that doesn’t shine directly into your eyes.
• No heavy exercise close to bedtime. Light stretching is OK, but vigorous activity will heat up your body’s core temperature, which makes it harder to sleep. “If you’re working up a sweat, you’re working too hard right before bed,” Shives says.
• Take a hot bath. That will heat up your core body temperature, but when you get out of the bath, your core temperature will fall, which may help you get to sleep. Plus, the bath “relaxes you mentally,” Shives says. She adds that having a hot, noncaffeinated drink, such as chamomile tea, may also help.
• Set a regular sleep schedule. When Shives treats insomnia patients, she tells them that although they can’t make themselves fall asleep, they can make themselves get up at a certain time the next morning. And though they may be tired at first, if they don’t nap, they may start sleeping better during the following nights. “We’re going to get nowhere if they take big naps during the day and keep a very erratic sleep schedule; it’s chaos then,” Shives says.
• Don’t count on weekend catch-up sleep. If you have chronic sleep problems, you probably can’t make up for that on the weekends. But if you generally sleep well and have a rough week, go ahead and sleep in on the weekend. “I actually think that’s good for the body,” Shives says.
• Don’t ignore chronic sleep problems. “Don’t let sleep troubles linger for months or years. Get to a sleep specialist earlier rather than later, before bad habits set in,” Shives says.
• Prioritize good sleep. “This is as important as diet and exercise,” Shives says. She says that in our society, “we disdain sleep, we admire energy and hard work and [have] this notion that sleep is just something that gets in the way.”

Healthy Living Step No. 7: Improve your relationships.

Healthy living isn’t just about your personal habits for, say, diet and activity. It’s also about your connections with other people — your social network.

DeWall, the University of Kentucky social psychologist, offers these tips for broadening your social network:

• Look for people like you. The details of their lives don’t have to match yours, but look for a similar level of openness. “What really is important in terms of promoting relationship well-being is that you share a similar level of comfort in getting close to people,” DeWall says. For instance, he says that someone who needs a lot of reassurance might not find the best relationship with someone who’s more standoffish. “Feel people out in terms of, ‘Does this person seem like me in terms of wanting to be close to other people?'” DeWall suggests.
• Spend time with people. “There’s this emphasis in our culture that you need to be very independent — an army of one, you can get along on your own,” DeWall says. “Most people don’t know their neighbors as much as they did 50 or 60 years ago.”
• Build both virtual and face-to-face relationships. DeWall isn’t against having online connections to other people. “But I think long term, having all of your relationships online or virtual … would probably be something that wouldn’t be as beneficial as having a mix” of having virtual and in-person relationships.
• If a close relationship is painful, get help. “Some of my work and some work that other people are doing suggest that … when you feel rejected by someone, that your body actually registers it as pain. So if I’m in a relationship that’s really causing me a lot of pain, then we need to do something, we need to go and seek help,” DeWall says.

Healthy Living Step No. 8: Challenge your mind.

Participating in mentally stimulating activities, especially activities that involve other people, may be good for the brain.

There’s no downside to including brain-challenging activities as part of your healthy living, unless “you spent $400 on some computer program that makes all sorts of wild claims about brain health,” says David Knopman, MD, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

Knopman explains that brain fitness is influenced by many factors, including education and opportunities for mentally stimulating activities starting in childhood, and also by the presence or absence of depression, diabetes, smoking, high blood pressure, and other risks.

Observational studies have shown that people who engage in mentally stimulating activities may be less likely to develop dementia. But Knopman notes that such studies don’t prove cause and effect, so it’s not clear if mentally stimulating activities protect against dementia or whether people with healthier brains are drawn to those activities in the first place.

That said, Knopman says, “I think that socially engaging activities are particularly important, and that’s why I’m somewhat skeptical about the various commercial entities that seek to sell computer games to stimulate the brain. … If that’s done to the exclusion of socially engaging activity, it’s probably counterproductive.”

*****

Article originally posted at https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/healthy-living-8-steps-to-take-today#1

Nourishing Beauty

With Emily in 2011

As a dietitian and health educator, I know how important it is to nourish ourselves with whole foods. That includes limiting our intake of pesticides (especially from the Environmental Working Group's Dirty Dozen) and other dubious “ingredients” like BPA from food packaging. I know quite a few health-conscious mamas who focus on putting healthy foods in their families mouths and end up covering them in toxins anyway. All summer long we slather ourselves and our children in sunscreen to protect them from harmful UV rays while inadvertently exposing them to harmful chemicals. And it’s not just sunscreens, it’s other hair and skin care products as well.  Even some specifically advertised as formulated for children.  

Did you know your skin is like a second mouth? In fact, a debatable percentage of what you put onto your skin gets absorbed into your body. Don’t believe me? Think about medicines that are delivered via skin patches. In addition, people inhale powders and sprays and orally ingest products that are applied to lips and hands.

This topic is not my area of expertise, so I’m introducing you to someone who knows a lot more about this topic. NCB readers, meet Emily Toledo, my crafty soul sister, tribes-woman, and one of my child’s Godmothers (that’s how much I love and trust her!) Emily has spent countless hours researching and has become a passionate advocate for women and children in the process. On her journey, she joined the company, Beautycounter, so she could spread the word and help others. Beautycounter also helps nourish her own sweet family by providing income so she can be home with her littles.

Emily Toledo

Here is my interview with Emily:

KSW: Hi Dear Emily! I’m excited to introduce you and your mission for safer beauty to my NCB readers. Can you tell us why you felt drawn to this cause and how got involved with Beautycounter?

ET: When our son was 2 years old, he had a severe allergic reaction to a very well known brand (children’s formula) of sunscreen. I rushed him to the pediatrician who reassured me that it was just an allergic reaction, quickly told me that children are particularly vulnerable to what we put on their skin, and advised me to just buy a different brand.  At the time, I was buying organic food, shopping at the local farmers market, making my own cleaning products, had reduced our use of plastic in the house, etc. I thought I was ahead of the game! Yet, I had never considered what ingredients were in the products I was using on myself and on my family. The experience served as a Pandora’s Box moment for me and was my catalyst for discovering Beautycounter. That was 2 ½ years ago and educating people on this issue of ingredient safety and empowering them to make safer choices has become my absolute passion.

KSW: I’ve seen you post some pretty crazy/ scary #s about the lack of regulation in the United States vs. Europe. Can you tell my readers a few of these?

ET: Sadly, the United States lags behind other countries in terms of consumer protection. While the European Union restricts nearly 1,400 ingredients from use in products, the United States restricts only 30. The last time a major federal law was passed regulating the personal care and cosmetics industry was 1938. Since then, more than 80,000 chemicals have been introduced into commerce. Approximately, 12,000 of those chemicals are used in the personal care industry and only 10% have been tested for safety. Of the chemicals we actually DO have data on, many of them have proven links to human health issues such as contact dermatitis, endocrine disruption, and cancer.

It is perfectly legal for a company to manufacture and sell a product without disclosing that it contains ingredients known to be harmful for human health. Several major brands actually have safer formulas sold in Europe that are not sold in the U.S. Even worse, due to major loopholes in federal law, cosmetics can be labeled “all-natural” and “organic” without containing ingredients that accurately meet those descriptions. In fact, products certified as "organic" can contain as little as 10% total organic ingredients. Tricking consumers into thinking they are getting a safe product with a clever marketing campaign is so common that it has its own term - “greenwashing” - and it’s rampant in the personal care and cosmetics industry.

KSW: Tell us about Beautycounter's current efforts for stricter legislation.

ET: Our advocacy work is what truly sets Beautycounter apart from any other brand. We are not only creating safer products and being a part of the solution, but we’re also fighting for legislative change so that one day, all products will be held to the same standard of safety. In 2015 for example, we partnered with the Oregon Environmental Council and were instrumental in helping pass the Toxic Free Kids Act. We are currently working with several other states (California and Hawaii, to name a few) to help draft similar laws to ensure safer products in the marketplace.
You can join the fight too! Text "better beauty" to 52886 and follow the prompts to urge your senator to pass more health protective laws.

KSW: How can people follow you (on FB, Pinterest, etc) to get more information and get updates?

ET: I love sharing updates on the industry, announcing new products when they launch and discussing strategies for healthy living, in general.  My Facebook and Instagram accounts celebrate this! You can find me online:

• Facebook: Better Beauty & Better Health with Emily Toledo
• Instagram: @better_living_with_ectoledo
• Contact me directly at emilytoledo.bc@gmail.com
• Learn more about the Beautycounter brand and collection of products here: www.beautycounter.com/emilytoledo

KSW: Is there anything else you would like to tell NCB readers?

ET: It doesn’t matter if a company claims to be “safe", “pure” or “natural”. In such an unregulated industry, words like that have little meaning. You need to be your own advocate and read the ingredients. A helpful tool for consumers is Environmental Working Group's “Healthy Living” app. It’s available (and FREE) on iPhone and Android. You can use the camera on your phone to scan the barcode of products in your home (or before buying them in the store) to see how they rank in terms of safety.

 I want to introduce everyone to Beautycounter’s "Never List". These are the ingredients that will never be used in the products. Ever. Many are cancer causing agents, skin irritants, or are endocrine disruptors. Even if you’re not ready to make changes to your personal care & cosmetics regimen, I encourage you to compare the Never List with the ingredients in your products. Knowledge is power!

Hey Readers, I want you to know that I’m writing about this because I believe in this cause as well. I’m not getting any free products by writing this! 

I also want you to know that you can make your own products as well. I use olive and almond oil on my skin, and have put these and essential oils into coarse sugar to make a sugar scrub. These are functional and fun to make, but they don’t have the amazing scent of BC oils and feel heavier and greasier than the BC products. I tend to rebel against recipes (I cook, make art, and make body scrubs by throwing things together and hoping for the best- which amazingly works out most of the time) but you may want to find body care recipes online if that is your schtick.  

Fabulous Resources

The Environmental Working Group www.ewg.org

Campaign for Safe Cosmetics www.safecosmetics.org

*Check out the Red Lists of concerning chemicals found in cosmetics and other body care products

Go Spread Love

My Dear Readers,

I'm sending you love. 

Texas-sized, sparkly love.  

From my home to yours.

It's LOVE Week! It's LOVE month! Even if you don't have a "Special Lady" or "Special Mister," it's no matter. Surely there is someone (ANYONE) who you love and someone who loves you. This is a great time to send them a 😘 text, a card via snail mail with glitter in the envelope (it's not too late, it's never too late), a 💖 posted on their Facebook page, or an extra long hug. You might even consider leaving a comment on a blog post (hint,hint.)

Send love to people (and animals) who really need a reminder that they matter: refugees, foster children, sick kids, the impoverished or homeless, injured veterans, abandoned animals, lonely old folks, and grieving families to name a few. Give a smile, money, hugs, prayers, your time, your gently used clothes and homegoods, and/or notes that say you care. Pick up garbage that you didn't leave to love our verdant planet. Practice self-care (NOURISH yourself with dark chocolate, blackberries, green tea, long walks, and bubble baths. Or gratitude-journal writing, time being creative, and 15 minutes sitting in silence so you can hear your soul.) Love yourself and then love others from your overflow! 

And who doesn't love this bunny who is obviously the life of the fiesta?

This world needs more love! So be a love spreader! Spread love like heart-shaped confetti blowing in a 55 mph wind gust. (Biodegradable confetti, of course, because we also love Mother Earth.)

Please keep me posted on ways that you are spreading love this month! 

↣↣↣💘↢↢↢

PS: If you have little ones at home, try this craft with them. It's super easy and fun.

I-Spy Sticker Cards

I save all of the stickers we accumulate (lots of $1 sticker packs from Target, it might be a problem) in a bin and then whip out the bin for projects like this. Just take a notecard and stick, stick, stick away. It's great for fine motor development.

We (and by we, I mean me because God gave me a daughter who is perfect as he made her except that can only sit to do craft projects for 3-8 minutes at a time) made these for some of our little friends that live far away. On the back I wrote: We made you an I-Spy! Can you find.....a strawberry, a squirrel, a teeny skull, and....... What else can you find? I sent the cards in envelopes to keep the stickers from falling off in the mail. A sealant like Mod-Podge would also protect them if you are more inclined to send postcards.

Go spread love Dear Readers!

Why I Am Hurting After this Election

Before President-Elect Trump, her future seemed brighter.

Like many Americans, I've been hurting big time since the election results came in. First I was in shock- my country wouldn't do this (elect a man who was endorsed by the KKK, bragged about sexually assulting women, etc., etc., etc.) Then I was sad, so incredibly sad.

In the last two days, I've had several facebook conversations with Trump voters- some that I know and some I do not- because I sincerely wanted to understand what they were thinking. Maybe if I understood, I thought, my suffering would be less.  

Anger is a secondary emotion. Hurt almost always lies underneath the anger. Trump insulted veterans, women, Muslims, immigrants, people of color, people of size, and disabled people. He didn't offer apologies. He instigated hate at his rallies. His call to "Make America Great Again" in and of itself insulted minorities. What time period was he referring to? American history has not been kind to anyone except white men. The "good old days" were not great for women or minorities.   

Each vote for Trump FEELS like a validation of all those hateful comments. And that hurts. Big time. I'm not hurt by him, I had already written him off as a narcissist incapable of empathy. Rather, I am hurt that 50% of the people in this already great country validated the hate he peddled. The people who "held their noses" or overlooked his hate and voted for him anyway. 

Today I had lunch with two sweet friends after yoga. We made small talk and one asked how I was doing. I said I wasn't doing well and that I was really hurt by this election. The talk turned to how people were rioting and wasn't that terrible? Why can't the people who voted for Hillary accept it and move on?

It is terrible. It's terrible because hate cannot be conquered by hate. It's terrible because the Trump people will now just write off all protestors as "crazy liberals" who are violent and hypocritical and sore losers. It's terrible because it's not ok to destroy property and hurt people because you are angry. But I said that I understood their anger. I don't condone it but I understand it. People are HURTING. People are scared. People feel they are not seen. People feel they do not matter. 

One friend said this is why she didn't talk politics. I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. The topic of conversation was changed to her child now in middle school and yadayadayada. I couldn't hear a word. I felt unheard. I felt my hurt was being dismissed. I couldn't eat my lunch. I started to sob. I said "how are we going to heal as a country if we can't even have these discussions with friends?" I said I didn't want to have friends that only talked about things on a superficial level and who didn't try to understand why I was hurting. They said they weren't taking the elections personally. 

And BING BING BING- there was the source of my pain. I was taking it personally. 

I thought we were making steady progress and that my daughter would not have to endure the blatant racism my husband had endured. I am a mama bear and I am hurt beyond words that my beautiful and long-awaited child is not valued in our society as much as their white children. Literally. The fees for her adoption were less because she was part black. They are lowest for full black children. The waiting time for black children is significantly shorter. And STILL black baby boys are being shipped overseas because they aren't all being adopted here. Why are some people pro-baby when it comes to unborn children but not pro-baby for the ones that are already born? How can someone be staunchly anti-abortion but then not adopt? Where do they think those babies go? Why are the unborn babies seen and valued when babies (and people) of color aren't? What about the suffering right in front of our eyes? How can a vote for a serial cheater (of women and small businesses) and a documented liar who now says he is pro-life in order to get elected be the vote of the conservative Christians? What is Christian about his statements and his actions? Who really wants to claim his "values" as their own?

One of my lunch friends was not familiar with my husband's recent press coverage. I told her of his role in the Dallas Police shootings and his comments to the media. How he has experienced racism his whole life. How he condems violence but understands the fear of police because he experiences it. He lives it. I told her how he has had patients coming into the hospital literally dying on a stretcher who said they didn't want a black man to be their doctor. (And he was the only trauma surgeon there!) I cannot fathom having so much hate for a group of people that you are willing to DIE rather than have one SAVE YOUR LIFE. And can you imagine how that must feel to be so despised? Just because of your skin pigment? And a lot of white people that I know honestly believe that racism doesn't really exist anymore because they don't see it or experience it. I will tell you I myself was naive about a lot of it until I witnessed it. And I had a very reasonable fear that a white supremacist was going to come to our house and shoot us because my husband spoke out. 

Our country has a long and complicated history with "all men were created equal." For many, many years, "all men" meant white men and not people of color or women. So, my fellow Americans, do you REALLY believe that ALL MEN (AND WOMEN) ARE CREATED EQUAL? And if we truly believe that, why do black babies cost less? They were created the same way (physically and spiritually.)

Thank you for reading along this far. I am grateful that you are trying to hear me. What I ask now, is for you to be still. Trump does not appear to be capable of empathy. Are you? Can you put yourself in the "other's" (pun intended) shoes? 

How would you FEEL if your precious son was killed serving his country? Then your ultimate sacrifice was belittled by the man running for president? And that man was validated by being elected president? (Trump is now going to be commander-in-chief. How are people of color, women, other religions, etc currently serving in the military going to feel about giving their lives for the country that elected him and ignored them? Why would minorities join the military now after he (and our country) insulted them?)

How would you FEEL if your daughter was sexually assaulted? Then a man who boasts about sexual assault was validated by being elected president?  

How would you FEEL if you were unseen, unheard, and unvalidated? 

Tonight I told a black friend that my husband wasn't as upset by this election as I was. We realized it was because he has felt marginalized by this country his whole life. But for me, this election was a slap in the face. Because I believed things were getting better. I believed the future was brighter for my precious, priceless, miracle daughter. And I'm grieving that the America I believed in said with their votes that her future may now not be as bright as their white childrens' future. For me, it's personal. My black friend told me that she was proud to be an American but that her America wasn't proud of her. It broke my heart. Because to many Americans, that is their truth. And I don't want that to be the truth for my daughter. 

As I typed this, she ran into our kitchen in her Elsa pajama top and Wonder Woman underwear full of giggles and joy and love and light. "Mama!!! Put that down and come with me! We are having a tickle fight. Do you want to tickle me?" And my heart breaks because I see her innocence and I know it will soon be shattered by the hateful messages that were just validated. I feel the injustice of this election. I am hurt. I grieve. Trump does not deserve to be her president. 

A Woman to Admire: Kristen Roedner

Dear Reader, I'm so excited for you to meet Kristen Roedner. Can't you just feel the sunshine she radiates from her being?

Kristen is one of the most LIVE OUT LOUD women I know. We met in Boston, circa 2002ish, through our sorority alumnae group. Delta Delta Delta, y'all!

Kristen hosts "Spread Sparkle" meetings at her home. It kills me that I live too far away to attend. She's been on me to start my own chapter.  I'll keep you posted if I do.

As I mentioned in a previous post, she drives a freakin' pink flying pig.

And there's a rainbow painted on the hood. Of course.

For the past two years, Beni and I spent the last week of summer break with her and her incredible daughter, Rosa Jane. The notes Kristen taped around her house for RJ made my heart melt. And made me excited to do the same once Beni can read.

Kristen's home is filled with art, art supplies, and inspiration.  I took the below photos last August. Two glittering reindeers and a flying pig Christmas tree are on display year round. Because they make her happy.

(Side note: I've never met anyone with more colored pencils than me. Her stash blew mine out of the water. I'm pretty sure I'd take her on ribbon and glitter though.)

But why all the pink flying pigs, you ask? She wrote an incredible blog post to explain her obsession. After you read it, you will know why I love her so much.

Kristen oozes sparkle and inspiration. And you want to know the craziest thing? She says I inspire her.

Mid-Life Reboot

Whoa! Today I'm 40!

Today is the first of the month and the very first day of the next year (and decade!) of my life.   While I'm grateful that I've made it this far (many are not as lucky), I also have some less than positive feelings about entering this next decade. There's no denying that I'm really middle aged now. And it's bizarre to think that tomorrow I will be closer to 50 than I am to 30. And closer to 60 than I am to 20! It's hard to wrap my head around that one.

As I lived the last month in my 30's, I started evaluating my life. For the past few weeks I've asked myself:

• Am I creating the life I desire? (A life that sparkles!)
• Do my daily activities reflect my values?
• Am I living with intention? With mindfulness?
• What life goals am I neglecting?
• Am I nourishing myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally?
• Am I nourishing my important relationships?
• Am I the mother/ wife/ sister/ friend/ daughter that I want to be?
• Would I be happy with how my close friends and family decribe me?

By sitting with these questions for several weeks, I've identified areas that need attention. While I'm not in a mid-life crisis, I'm definitely in need of a mid-life reboot. 

So for the next 365 days, I'm a woman on a mission. I've set nine goals for myself (symbolic because my birthday is in September). These goals are realisitic but will be challenging as they will require almost daily attention and/or action.

So here goes! By September 1, 2015, I will... 

• go on 40 health adventures (I'm thinking of activities along the lines of hiking, rollerskating, and pole dancing classes) 
• prepare 40 home-cooked, healthy, whole food, family meals
• do 40 meditation sessions (each at least 5 minutes long*)
• fill 40 or more pages in my gratitude journal
• post 40 blog entries
• participate in 40 Spanish learning sessions (at least 10 minutes each*)
• work on my book 40 times (at least 10 minutes each*)
• go on 40 dates with my hubby (not an easy task with a husband who works insane hours)
• snail mail 40 letters to my friends and loved ones

* I will probably go longer than 5-10 minutes. But just knowing I only HAVE to do a few minutes, means it's more likely that I'll get started. It's a goal-setting Jedi mind-trick I'm playing on myself.

As I look over this list and think about everything else that is going on in my life, I realize this is an ambitious list of goals. But hey, what better time than now?

Wish me luck, Dear Readers. I'll be posting about my progress and counting on you to help keep me accountable. I also welcome fellow goal setters on this journey. Is there something you would like to work on?