Moe Challenges, Moe Love

Last week was a stressful week for many in the country. We had a bit more chaos in our home for another reason: we added another family member. Meet Moe.

Moe had a rough life before landing in our home two days after the election. He was found alone in a field in Lubbock, Texas with puncture wounds from a wild animal or large dog on his hind legs and neck. The shelter where he was taken does not provide medical care, so they put out an APB to rescue organizations. Doodle Rock Rescue answered the call, had him flown to Dallas, and provided him with medical care and a foster home. After two weeks, he was too active to stay in the first foster home, so he moved to a second. And two weeks after that, he moved in with us. ♡ His forever family.♡ He fit right in with our crew and now plays all day with our 4 year-old golden doodle and sleeps with our 9 year-old daughter at night. 

Moe is a resilient little bugger. His life changed so much in just one month, and he is taking it all in (tiny dog) stride. His journey has me reflecting on the following:

• Even when we are at our lowest point- wounded, alone, and afraid- a life-changing blessing might be in our near future. And it will be worth the wait.
• This Fred Rogers' quote, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' "  Moe had a lot of helpers over the past month. A lot of people that gave of their time, money, and love so one little 13 pound dog could have a happy life. I'm so grateful to them all.
• We won't always know the outcome of our efforts. But we put in the effort anyway with the hopes of a positive outcome. I'm certain the person who scooped Moe up in that field, could not have predicted that in a few short weeks, this dog would be a pampered pooch several hundred miles away.
• Be present. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Be present! (This one is such a challenge for me. I had a reminder tattooed on my wrist. In hindsight, I needed it on my forehead.)
• Family are the people who love you. (Now we have three adopted children- one with 2 legs and two with four.) All three came to us in their own way and in their own time.  With each one, we felt it was meant to be. 
• Sh*t happens. And when it does, hopefully it's on the hardwood and not the new rug.
• And finally, our scars are reminders of how much we've overcome. Moe's many scars remind us he is one BADASS little doggie! 

I hope Moe's story inspires you today. Remember, you are stronger than you think, Dear Reader. 

Feel free to leave a message of resilience, hope, or faith below. Someone might need to hear your words of wisdom today. 

Nourishing Beauty

With Emily in 2011

As a dietitian and health educator, I know how important it is to nourish ourselves with whole foods. That includes limiting our intake of pesticides (especially from the Environmental Working Group's Dirty Dozen) and other dubious “ingredients” like BPA from food packaging. I know quite a few health-conscious mamas who focus on putting healthy foods in their families mouths and end up covering them in toxins anyway. All summer long we slather ourselves and our children in sunscreen to protect them from harmful UV rays while inadvertently exposing them to harmful chemicals. And it’s not just sunscreens, it’s other hair and skin care products as well.  Even some specifically advertised as formulated for children.  

Did you know your skin is like a second mouth? In fact, a debatable percentage of what you put onto your skin gets absorbed into your body. Don’t believe me? Think about medicines that are delivered via skin patches. In addition, people inhale powders and sprays and orally ingest products that are applied to lips and hands.

This topic is not my area of expertise, so I’m introducing you to someone who knows a lot more about this topic. NCB readers, meet Emily Toledo, my crafty soul sister, tribes-woman, and one of my child’s Godmothers (that’s how much I love and trust her!) Emily has spent countless hours researching and has become a passionate advocate for women and children in the process. On her journey, she joined the company, Beautycounter, so she could spread the word and help others. Beautycounter also helps nourish her own sweet family by providing income so she can be home with her littles.

Emily Toledo

Here is my interview with Emily:

KSW: Hi Dear Emily! I’m excited to introduce you and your mission for safer beauty to my NCB readers. Can you tell us why you felt drawn to this cause and how got involved with Beautycounter?

ET: When our son was 2 years old, he had a severe allergic reaction to a very well known brand (children’s formula) of sunscreen. I rushed him to the pediatrician who reassured me that it was just an allergic reaction, quickly told me that children are particularly vulnerable to what we put on their skin, and advised me to just buy a different brand.  At the time, I was buying organic food, shopping at the local farmers market, making my own cleaning products, had reduced our use of plastic in the house, etc. I thought I was ahead of the game! Yet, I had never considered what ingredients were in the products I was using on myself and on my family. The experience served as a Pandora’s Box moment for me and was my catalyst for discovering Beautycounter. That was 2 ½ years ago and educating people on this issue of ingredient safety and empowering them to make safer choices has become my absolute passion.

KSW: I’ve seen you post some pretty crazy/ scary #s about the lack of regulation in the United States vs. Europe. Can you tell my readers a few of these?

ET: Sadly, the United States lags behind other countries in terms of consumer protection. While the European Union restricts nearly 1,400 ingredients from use in products, the United States restricts only 30. The last time a major federal law was passed regulating the personal care and cosmetics industry was 1938. Since then, more than 80,000 chemicals have been introduced into commerce. Approximately, 12,000 of those chemicals are used in the personal care industry and only 10% have been tested for safety. Of the chemicals we actually DO have data on, many of them have proven links to human health issues such as contact dermatitis, endocrine disruption, and cancer.

It is perfectly legal for a company to manufacture and sell a product without disclosing that it contains ingredients known to be harmful for human health. Several major brands actually have safer formulas sold in Europe that are not sold in the U.S. Even worse, due to major loopholes in federal law, cosmetics can be labeled “all-natural” and “organic” without containing ingredients that accurately meet those descriptions. In fact, products certified as "organic" can contain as little as 10% total organic ingredients. Tricking consumers into thinking they are getting a safe product with a clever marketing campaign is so common that it has its own term - “greenwashing” - and it’s rampant in the personal care and cosmetics industry.

KSW: Tell us about Beautycounter's current efforts for stricter legislation.

ET: Our advocacy work is what truly sets Beautycounter apart from any other brand. We are not only creating safer products and being a part of the solution, but we’re also fighting for legislative change so that one day, all products will be held to the same standard of safety. In 2015 for example, we partnered with the Oregon Environmental Council and were instrumental in helping pass the Toxic Free Kids Act. We are currently working with several other states (California and Hawaii, to name a few) to help draft similar laws to ensure safer products in the marketplace.
You can join the fight too! Text "better beauty" to 52886 and follow the prompts to urge your senator to pass more health protective laws.

KSW: How can people follow you (on FB, Pinterest, etc) to get more information and get updates?

ET: I love sharing updates on the industry, announcing new products when they launch and discussing strategies for healthy living, in general.  My Facebook and Instagram accounts celebrate this! You can find me online:

• Facebook: Better Beauty & Better Health with Emily Toledo
• Instagram: @better_living_with_ectoledo
• Contact me directly at emilytoledo.bc@gmail.com
• Learn more about the Beautycounter brand and collection of products here: www.beautycounter.com/emilytoledo

KSW: Is there anything else you would like to tell NCB readers?

ET: It doesn’t matter if a company claims to be “safe", “pure” or “natural”. In such an unregulated industry, words like that have little meaning. You need to be your own advocate and read the ingredients. A helpful tool for consumers is Environmental Working Group's “Healthy Living” app. It’s available (and FREE) on iPhone and Android. You can use the camera on your phone to scan the barcode of products in your home (or before buying them in the store) to see how they rank in terms of safety.

 I want to introduce everyone to Beautycounter’s "Never List". These are the ingredients that will never be used in the products. Ever. Many are cancer causing agents, skin irritants, or are endocrine disruptors. Even if you’re not ready to make changes to your personal care & cosmetics regimen, I encourage you to compare the Never List with the ingredients in your products. Knowledge is power!

Hey Readers, I want you to know that I’m writing about this because I believe in this cause as well. I’m not getting any free products by writing this! 

I also want you to know that you can make your own products as well. I use olive and almond oil on my skin, and have put these and essential oils into coarse sugar to make a sugar scrub. These are functional and fun to make, but they don’t have the amazing scent of BC oils and feel heavier and greasier than the BC products. I tend to rebel against recipes (I cook, make art, and make body scrubs by throwing things together and hoping for the best- which amazingly works out most of the time) but you may want to find body care recipes online if that is your schtick.  

Fabulous Resources

The Environmental Working Group www.ewg.org

Campaign for Safe Cosmetics www.safecosmetics.org

*Check out the Red Lists of concerning chemicals found in cosmetics and other body care products

Why I Am Hurting After this Election

Before President-Elect Trump, her future seemed brighter.

Like many Americans, I've been hurting big time since the election results came in. First I was in shock- my country wouldn't do this (elect a man who was endorsed by the KKK, bragged about sexually assulting women, etc., etc., etc.) Then I was sad, so incredibly sad.

In the last two days, I've had several facebook conversations with Trump voters- some that I know and some I do not- because I sincerely wanted to understand what they were thinking. Maybe if I understood, I thought, my suffering would be less.  

Anger is a secondary emotion. Hurt almost always lies underneath the anger. Trump insulted veterans, women, Muslims, immigrants, people of color, people of size, and disabled people. He didn't offer apologies. He instigated hate at his rallies. His call to "Make America Great Again" in and of itself insulted minorities. What time period was he referring to? American history has not been kind to anyone except white men. The "good old days" were not great for women or minorities.   

Each vote for Trump FEELS like a validation of all those hateful comments. And that hurts. Big time. I'm not hurt by him, I had already written him off as a narcissist incapable of empathy. Rather, I am hurt that 50% of the people in this already great country validated the hate he peddled. The people who "held their noses" or overlooked his hate and voted for him anyway. 

Today I had lunch with two sweet friends after yoga. We made small talk and one asked how I was doing. I said I wasn't doing well and that I was really hurt by this election. The talk turned to how people were rioting and wasn't that terrible? Why can't the people who voted for Hillary accept it and move on?

It is terrible. It's terrible because hate cannot be conquered by hate. It's terrible because the Trump people will now just write off all protestors as "crazy liberals" who are violent and hypocritical and sore losers. It's terrible because it's not ok to destroy property and hurt people because you are angry. But I said that I understood their anger. I don't condone it but I understand it. People are HURTING. People are scared. People feel they are not seen. People feel they do not matter. 

One friend said this is why she didn't talk politics. I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. The topic of conversation was changed to her child now in middle school and yadayadayada. I couldn't hear a word. I felt unheard. I felt my hurt was being dismissed. I couldn't eat my lunch. I started to sob. I said "how are we going to heal as a country if we can't even have these discussions with friends?" I said I didn't want to have friends that only talked about things on a superficial level and who didn't try to understand why I was hurting. They said they weren't taking the elections personally. 

And BING BING BING- there was the source of my pain. I was taking it personally. 

I thought we were making steady progress and that my daughter would not have to endure the blatant racism my husband had endured. I am a mama bear and I am hurt beyond words that my beautiful and long-awaited child is not valued in our society as much as their white children. Literally. The fees for her adoption were less because she was part black. They are lowest for full black children. The waiting time for black children is significantly shorter. And STILL black baby boys are being shipped overseas because they aren't all being adopted here. Why are some people pro-baby when it comes to unborn children but not pro-baby for the ones that are already born? How can someone be staunchly anti-abortion but then not adopt? Where do they think those babies go? Why are the unborn babies seen and valued when babies (and people) of color aren't? What about the suffering right in front of our eyes? How can a vote for a serial cheater (of women and small businesses) and a documented liar who now says he is pro-life in order to get elected be the vote of the conservative Christians? What is Christian about his statements and his actions? Who really wants to claim his "values" as their own?

One of my lunch friends was not familiar with my husband's recent press coverage. I told her of his role in the Dallas Police shootings and his comments to the media. How he has experienced racism his whole life. How he condems violence but understands the fear of police because he experiences it. He lives it. I told her how he has had patients coming into the hospital literally dying on a stretcher who said they didn't want a black man to be their doctor. (And he was the only trauma surgeon there!) I cannot fathom having so much hate for a group of people that you are willing to DIE rather than have one SAVE YOUR LIFE. And can you imagine how that must feel to be so despised? Just because of your skin pigment? And a lot of white people that I know honestly believe that racism doesn't really exist anymore because they don't see it or experience it. I will tell you I myself was naive about a lot of it until I witnessed it. And I had a very reasonable fear that a white supremacist was going to come to our house and shoot us because my husband spoke out. 

Our country has a long and complicated history with "all men were created equal." For many, many years, "all men" meant white men and not people of color or women. So, my fellow Americans, do you REALLY believe that ALL MEN (AND WOMEN) ARE CREATED EQUAL? And if we truly believe that, why do black babies cost less? They were created the same way (physically and spiritually.)

Thank you for reading along this far. I am grateful that you are trying to hear me. What I ask now, is for you to be still. Trump does not appear to be capable of empathy. Are you? Can you put yourself in the "other's" (pun intended) shoes? 

How would you FEEL if your precious son was killed serving his country? Then your ultimate sacrifice was belittled by the man running for president? And that man was validated by being elected president? (Trump is now going to be commander-in-chief. How are people of color, women, other religions, etc currently serving in the military going to feel about giving their lives for the country that elected him and ignored them? Why would minorities join the military now after he (and our country) insulted them?)

How would you FEEL if your daughter was sexually assaulted? Then a man who boasts about sexual assault was validated by being elected president?  

How would you FEEL if you were unseen, unheard, and unvalidated? 

Tonight I told a black friend that my husband wasn't as upset by this election as I was. We realized it was because he has felt marginalized by this country his whole life. But for me, this election was a slap in the face. Because I believed things were getting better. I believed the future was brighter for my precious, priceless, miracle daughter. And I'm grieving that the America I believed in said with their votes that her future may now not be as bright as their white childrens' future. For me, it's personal. My black friend told me that she was proud to be an American but that her America wasn't proud of her. It broke my heart. Because to many Americans, that is their truth. And I don't want that to be the truth for my daughter. 

As I typed this, she ran into our kitchen in her Elsa pajama top and Wonder Woman underwear full of giggles and joy and love and light. "Mama!!! Put that down and come with me! We are having a tickle fight. Do you want to tickle me?" And my heart breaks because I see her innocence and I know it will soon be shattered by the hateful messages that were just validated. I feel the injustice of this election. I am hurt. I grieve. Trump does not deserve to be her president. 

That Day We Met the President (Unexpected Activists- Part 5)

Here it is. The post you have been waiting for. (Is anyone still out there reading this? Bueller, Bueller?) I know, I know. It's part FIVE. (In my defense, I don't like long blog posts. Reading them OR writing them. So I apologize in advance that this one is a bit long. Part 6 just seemed like toooooo much.) You've made it all the way from Part 1 through Part 4. And now we're ready to meet the President of the United States of America.

Thursday July 14, 2016
We woke up early that morning after only a few hours of sleep. Brian and I packed and got dressed and we then attempted to wake Beni. Normally, she is up at the crack of dawn and trying to pull me out of bed. But I swear, whenever we HAVE to be somewhere, she sleeps in. After some coaxing, and a reminder that she got to wear her new sparkly dress, sparkly shoes, and sparkly accessories, she allowed Brian to dress her while she laid there. He even brushed her teeth with in-bed service. We left the room sometime after 6:30am and grabbed a cab to Penn Station. 

Cab ride to Penn Station

At the train station, we found a Dunkin Donuts (I've missed you, DD coffee) and grabbed some coffee nirvana for me and some munchkins for the munchkin. And us too, of course! Public transportation, I've missed you too. Although, I realize it's easy to miss you because right now it's not cold, raining, and something I HAVE to do. Every. Single. Day. But it was incredible to be back on the East Coast and experiencing the hustle and bustle of a "real" city. 

After a short wait and some people watching, we boarded our train. Somehow we ended up on the quiet car, but it ended up being a blessing. One man was asked to leave after talking on his cell phone and I told Abeni he was kicked off the train car because he was too loud. (That was technically true AND was effective in keeping her quiet the whole way. Score one for Mama!) We all fell asleep with the gentle motion of the train and the sound of the wheels. But not before I posted this message on Facebook to my friends:

After arriving at the DC train station, we headed to a hotel near the ABC taping venue. Brian's hospital had sent a communications expert (thanks Mike!) to provide him with guidance about what he could and could not say (nothing about legislation since B was a state of TX employee.) We had lunch, freshened up in Mike's room, and all left in a rush to make it to the venue. 

Arriving at the DC train station

Once at the venue, we waited outside while the Secret Service swept the theater for security. We entered through metal detectors and they did a quick search of my purse and Beni's koala backpack. It was loaded with activities that would hopefully keep her entertained while Brian and I were at the taping. Once inside, we waited for quite a while longer. I sent this update to my Facebook friends. 

And then, without any warning (for a last minute potty break), Brian and I were ushered to our seats. I called out to Mike, "Take good care of our precious treasure!" Brian was seated in the front row and I was seated directly behind him. David Muir came in and talked to us for a while, and then THE PRESIDENT walked in. I'm trying not to use the word "surreal" too much, but that's the overwhelming feeling that filled me. 

That's Brian's big head there on the left. 

After two-hours, David Muir said- this is the last question- and it was over. Brian was disappointed he did not get to ask his question. Then the President went around the room to shake hands. Brian got a quick handshake. Everyone had a few seconds with POTUS as he walked around the circular room. Brian urged me to move from my second row seat and move into his path so I could meet him. I tried to maneuver into his path but the Secret Service agents were human obstacles.  

Brian chatting with David Muir, ABC newscaster

And then, there he was. The President of the United States was looking right at me. 

Me: (grabbing his hand) It is such an honor to meet you, Mr. President. 

Obama: Thank you.

Then there was a pause. I assumed he would keep moving on to the next person, so I didn't say anything else. But he didn't move on! 

Obama: So, what is your name?

Me: (very animated) I'm Kathianne Williams. My husband, Brian Williams, (I gestured to Brian behind me. B had strategically placed himself to get a photo of me with the POTUS.) was the surgeon who took care of the policemen that were shot in Dallas. 

Obama: (to Brian) Oh hey man! (shaking B's hand and then grabbing B's tie) Yeah, he dresses like a surgeon.

And then, miraculously, there was another pause. I had NOT planned anything to say. I wasn't even sure I would get to meet the President. So, I don't know WHERE this came from, because I am usually kicking myself later for not saying something "better." But I opened my mouth, and this came out of nowhere:

Me: (grabbing his hand and pulling Obama even closer) I just want to tell you, that when you were ignaugurated, I wrote a letter to my biracial daughter. I wrote to her that I was so happy that she would never know a world in which only white men were president. 

Obama: Thank you. Please tell her I said hello. She must be what? Eight years old now?

Me: No, five.

And then he moved on to the next person. I hope he put it together that I wasn't confused on my timeline; it was just that I wrote the letter to my daughter before she was even born. Because I had to do A LOT of waiting for her, remember? And do you remember the blog post I wrote several years ago about my letter to Beni on his inauguration? (Please follow the link and read that one.) Looking back now, it all feels magical. I wrote the letter to her in January of 2009, published the blog post in January of 2013, and then met the President and told him about it in July 2016. It was a full-circle moment. A moment when everything seems to fall into place and the Universe is in order.  

Can you tell from this photo that I am squeezing his hand kind of hard? 

I was holding his one hand with two of mine at one point. Ha! 

Brian said that the President wasn't going anywhere with my grip.  

Meanwhile, Brian was saying to me, "I thought I had to be quick to take the photo, but you were talking to him forever! After a while, I just held the button down and took a burst of photos." Sadly, we didn't get a photo of Brian with the President, and he didn't really get to say much to him. He's still a bit bummed about that. Frankly, I am just amazed at myself that I thought on my feet and took advantage of the moment. Yippee!!! 

We then collected Beni from Mike (she was alive and happy and had eaten a lot of candy and played with the young relatives of Eric Garner). It was a rush to get back to his hotel for our bags, then into a car for a long drive to BWI airport. Then it was a long flight back to Dallas. We landed at Love Field, but our car was at DFW (from the NYC flight) so we had to take a car service back to DFW. Then drive home from there.  

All in all, it was a VERY looooong day. So long, in fact, that the memories we made will last a lifetime.

*

 

Please stay tuned for 2 more posts. One is a final reflection on the events from my point of view. The other is an interview of Brian H. Williams, MD. He was interviewed by Don Lemon of CNN, Ari Shapiro of NPR, and Gayle King of CBS, but he has not faced the toughest interviewer yet! Kathianne Williams of Nourish.Create.Bloom!!! Feel free to write any questions you might have for Brian in the comments below. 

A Woman to Admire: Kristen Roedner

Dear Reader, I'm so excited for you to meet Kristen Roedner. Can't you just feel the sunshine she radiates from her being?

Kristen is one of the most LIVE OUT LOUD women I know. We met in Boston, circa 2002ish, through our sorority alumnae group. Delta Delta Delta, y'all!

Kristen hosts "Spread Sparkle" meetings at her home. It kills me that I live too far away to attend. She's been on me to start my own chapter.  I'll keep you posted if I do.

As I mentioned in a previous post, she drives a freakin' pink flying pig.

And there's a rainbow painted on the hood. Of course.

For the past two years, Beni and I spent the last week of summer break with her and her incredible daughter, Rosa Jane. The notes Kristen taped around her house for RJ made my heart melt. And made me excited to do the same once Beni can read.

Kristen's home is filled with art, art supplies, and inspiration.  I took the below photos last August. Two glittering reindeers and a flying pig Christmas tree are on display year round. Because they make her happy.

(Side note: I've never met anyone with more colored pencils than me. Her stash blew mine out of the water. I'm pretty sure I'd take her on ribbon and glitter though.)

But why all the pink flying pigs, you ask? She wrote an incredible blog post to explain her obsession. After you read it, you will know why I love her so much.

Kristen oozes sparkle and inspiration. And you want to know the craziest thing? She says I inspire her.

I've Been Busy

It's been a long while since my last post. I'm still working on balancing time between the demands of motherhood, quality time with my husband, traveling to see family and friends, and my wellness, creative, and personal pursuits (of which blogging is one.) My blog ends up on the bottom of the list. And for some crazy reason, I even feel a bit guilty about my lack of blog posts. But why, I ask myself? No one is paying me to post. And while many people have commented that they enjoy reading my blog, I don't think anyone is anxiously awaiting the next NCB update. 
(But if you are, please let me know!) 

Since I haven't been blogging as much, I'll fill you in on some of my activities for the past few months. I've been focusing on some important things in my daughter's life. Things that are here today, but gone tomorrow. And I've been quite busy….

clearing traffic jams,

 attempting potty training,

pimping my child's ride,

mastering architecture and castle construction,

(and I'm actually quite proud of these),

building a sled MacGyver-style from a diaper box, packing tape, and belt, 

(and then letting go of the reign),

encouraging self-expression,

exploring our city,

giving Elmo dreadlocks and then supervising his haircut,

and driving a rocketship-sized cart throughout Whole Foods 

while navigating wild animals and an "I want this!" meltdown. 

(In full disclosure, this might have been the first time I didn't run into an aisle. 

These carts are huge. And tricky, my friend.)

Thanks for your patience between my posts. And thank you for following Nourish. Create. Bloom, 

my Dear Readers.

Glittering Thanks

A Very Happy Thanksgiving 2013

Here's how we give glitter thanks at our house.

Turkey Craft Number 1: Glam Gobbler

Clockwise from top left:
1. We found the inspiration for our turkey on a window at Beni's preschool.
2. I'm teaching her early- you can NEVER add too much sparkle.
3. Turkey in progress…

And here is our Glam Gobbler making his internet debut:

We were both so happy with how he turned out. He's a keeper for sure.

Turkey Craft Number 2: Sending Gratitude

Clockwise from top left:
1. and 2. Making handprint turkeys with paint and glitter.
3. The finished product says: We are thankful for you.
4. Sending our love to Godparents, grandparents, and beloved aunts and uncles.

Celebrating Thanksgiving at Preschool

Clockwise from top left: 

1. Beni-Bird modeling her Native American headband.

2. The Williams family feather: what we are thankful for.

3. Side view of previously mentioned fashionable headdress.

4. A huge turkey of thanks at Beni's school (one feather contributed by each family.)

Thanksgiving Day Traditions

Clockwise from top left:

1. and 3. Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

2. Our vegetarian meal.

4. One dessert for each of us. 

A Night of Thanks

Clockwise from top left:

1. Gratitude-themed books.

2. Sitting by the fire for story time.

3. My art journal entry for 11-28-2013.

4. I've been recording blessings in my gratitude journal since 2002.

And one more thing I'm so grateful for…..
 you, Dear Reader.

***

PS: Please forgive the funky formatting and the extra spaces. I swear, it doesn't look like this on my end. I spent over an hour trying to fix it and then decided to publish "as is" before I lose my good feelings of gratitude. What a relief it is to let go of "perfection"!