Thursday, November 12, 2020

Moe Challenges, Moe Love

Last week was a stressful week for many in the country. We had a bit more chaos in our home for another reason: we added another family member. Meet Moe.


Moe had a rough life before landing in our home two days after the election. He was found alone in a field in Lubbock, Texas with puncture wounds from a wild animal or large dog on his hind legs and neck. The shelter where he was taken does not provide medical care, so they put out an APB to rescue organizations. Doodle Rock Rescue answered the call, had him flown to Dallas, and provided him with medical care and a foster home. After two weeks, he was too active to stay in the first foster home, so he moved to a second. And two weeks after that, he moved in with us. ♡ His forever family.♡ He fit right in with our crew and now plays all day with our 4 year-old golden doodle and sleeps with our 9 year-old daughter at night. 


Moe is a resilient little bugger. His life changed so much in just one month, and he is taking it all in (tiny dog) stride. His journey has me reflecting on the following:

  • Even when we are at our lowest point- wounded, alone, and afraid- a life-changing blessing might be in our near future. And it will be worth the wait.
  • This Fred Rogers' quote, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' "  Moe had a lot of helpers over the past month. A lot of people that gave of their time, money, and love so one little 13 pound dog could have a happy life. I'm so grateful to them all.
  • We won't always know the outcome of our efforts. But we put in the effort anyway with the hopes of a positive outcome. I'm certain the person who scooped Moe up in that field, could not have predicted that in a few short weeks, this dog would be a pampered pooch several hundred miles away.
  • Be present. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Be present! (This one is such a challenge for me. I had a reminder tattooed on my wrist. In hindsight, I needed it on my forehead.)
  • Family are the people who love you. (Now we have three adopted children- one with 2 legs and two with four.) All three came to us in their own way and in their own time.  With each one, we felt it was meant to be. 
  • Sh*t happens. And when it does, hopefully it's on the hardwood and not the new rug.
  • And finally, our scars are reminders of how much we've overcome. Moe's many scars remind us he is one BADASS little doggie! 

I hope Moe's story inspires you today. Remember, you are stronger than you think, Dear Reader. 

Feel free to leave a message of resilience, hope, or faith below. Someone might need to hear your words of wisdom today. 

Monday, October 26, 2020

Healthy Living: My WebMD Debut

Happiness, connection, time outside, and enjoyable
movement are all important parts of healthy living.
Photo by Brian H. Williams


Earlier this year, I was disheartened to find my debut WebMD article (I was not the author but was cited as an expert), was replaced on their site. It was a highlight of my career at the time when WebMD interviewed me. Twice! And although I did the interview at least three years after my wedding, I remember when I read the article I was thinking, Who is this Williams? 😆 

Luckily, I was able to easily find multiple pilfered copies of the article by googling my name plus WebMD. Since my previous links will no longer work, I copied the original version and pasted it below. I'm not sure of the exact date the article was written, but it's between 2008-2010, when I was living in Atlanta. It's all still relevant* and encompasses many aspects of well-being. You can find my insights in steps 1, 3, 4, and 5. Enjoy!

*Note: If I were the author of this article, I would not include "Gauge Your Girth" in Step 1. I'll write a blog post about my reasoning in the near future and link it back here. 

Healthy Living: 8 Steps To Take Today

Here’s your checklist of practical healthy living tips that are ready to go. Let’s get started.

Healthy Living Step No. 1: Take stock.

Your first step toward healthy living is to get a handle on your health status right now. Here’s your to-do list:

  • Make appointments with your doctor and dentist. Catch up on your routine screening and immunizations, and take the opportunity to ask your doctor any questions you might have.
  • Gauge your girth. Measure your height and weight to check your BMI, and measure your waist circumference to see if you’re overweight and if your waistline is putting your health at risk.
  • Assess your activity. How much physical activity do you get in a typical week? How intense is that activity? How much variety do you get in your activity, and how much do you enjoy it? The CDC recommends that adults get at least two and a half hours per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or one hour and 15 minutes per week of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, plus muscle-strengthening activities at least two days per week.
  • Keep a food diary. Write down everything you eat for a day — and no fair skipping the items you’re embarrassed about. “The idea is to write it down … without judgment,” says Kathianne Sellers Williams, MEd, RD, LD, a nutritionist, wellness coach, and personal trainer in Atlanta. “You can’t change what you’re not aware of or don’t acknowledge.”
  • Check your mood and energy. Healthy living includes emotional wellness and adequate rest. How has your mood been lately? Are you experiencing any symptoms of depression or anxiety? Do you usually sleep well for seven to eight hours a night?
  • Consider your social network. How strong are your connections with family and friends? Are you plugged in with social or spiritual groups that enrich your life? “People have a fundamental need for positive and lasting relationships,” C. Nathan DeWall, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky, tells WebMD.

If you’re not thrilled with the answers to some of those questions, remember that the point is to figure out where you are today so you can set your healthy living goals. It’s not about being “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong.”

Healthy Living Step No. 2: Put out fires.

If you know that you have chronic health problems, whether it’s heart disease, diabetes, depression, arthritis, or other conditions, treatment is an obvious priority for healthy living. The same goes for risky behaviors, such as smoking, and addictions of any kind.

Addressing these issues typically isn’t a do-it-yourself task. Partner with your doctor. Make the phone call today to schedule that appointment. 

Healthy Living Step No. 3: Move more.

  • Make it fun. Go on a hike, walk with friends, take a bellydancing or karate class, or whatever you enjoy. “There’s no need to stick to cardioequipment in the gym if you’re dreading it and you don’t like it,” Williams says. “Find something that’s fun.”
  • Keep track of it. Make a note of your physical activity in your date book or calendar. “Put big Xs on the days that you exercise,” Williams says. “Keep a visual record that you look at frequently” as a reminder and motivator.
  • Set a weekly goal for activity. To build your confidence, “make the first goal so easy that you say, ‘I know I can do that,'” Williams suggests. She recommends weekly goals because if you set a daily goal and miss a day, you might get discouraged; weekly goals give you more day-to-day flexibility. And at the end of the week, reward yourself with a visual reminder of your accomplishment, such as buying flowers for yourself.
  • Work activity into your day. “Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing. So even if you have 10 minutes, it’s better than zero minutes,” Williams says. She suggests taking a 10-minute walk before lunch or walking up and down the stairs when you’re feeling drained and tired.

Other ideas include wearing a pedometer to track how many steps you take per day (health experts recommend shooting for 10,000 steps per day) and working with a personal trainer (double up with a friend to lower the cost) to create an exercise routine.

Healthy Living Step No. 4: Upgrade your diet.

Williams, a nutritionist for a dozen years, says her diet advice isn’t about eating certain foods and avoiding others as much as it is about awareness and choices. Here are her pointers:

  • Replace “I should” with “I choose.” So instead of “I should be eating more fruits and vegetables,” it’s “I choose to eat more fruits and vegetables” or “I choose not to,” because it’s more powerful language,” Williams says. “It shows that you’re in control, you’re making the choice. So if you choose to or you choose not to, you make the choice and you move on.”
  • Skip the guilt. “Usually, whenever someone feels guilty about something, it feeds right back to the behavior that they’re trying to get rid of,” Williams says. “So if someone is an emotional eater and they say, ‘I know I shouldn’t be doing this,” it implies more guilt and judgment on themselves, they feel worse, and then they end up eating to comfort themselves.”
  • Choose to plan. Stock your pantry with healthy fare and bring healthy snacks with you so you’re prepared when you get hungry. “When we’re really hungry, our physiology kicks in and that’s when we’re craving the hamburger and fries; we’re not craving a salad,” Williams says.
  • Slow down and savor your food. Don’t watch TV, work, or drive while you’re eating. “A lot of people tell me, ‘My problem is that I really like food,’ but I think that’s a really good thing,” Williams says. “If you really enjoy food, sit down and enjoy your meal. You’re much more likely to feel psychologically satisfied if you don’t multitask while you’re eating.”
  • Shoot for five to nine daily servings of varied fruits and vegetables. Cover the rainbow of fruit and vegetable colors to get a good mix of nutrients. “If you’re not getting the rainbow, you’re probably not getting all the nutrients that you need,” Williams says.

Healthy Living Step No. 5: Manage stress.

  • Routine maintenance: Develop positive coping skills, such as meditation and visualization, and look for activities, such as yoga or exercise, to keep your baseline stress level in check.
  • Breakthrough stress: Find ways to handle stressful situations that flare up without warning. For instance, Williams says that after a stressful meeting at work, you might run up and down the stairs a few times to burn off anger, or retreat to a bathroom stall to take a few deep breaths and refocus.
  • Check your perspective. Ask yourself, “Will this matter to me a year from now?” If not, why are you getting so wound up?
  • Volunteer. Helping to meet other peoples’ needs may make your own problems seem smaller.
  • Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the positive people, events, and things that you’re thankful for. “It really switches the focus to, ‘Wow, look how much I have,” Williams says. “Most stress is caused by wishing things were different than they are now.”
  • Breathe. One of the breathing exercises that Williams recommends is to count your breaths for a minute, and then try to cut that number of breaths in half for the next minute.
Healthy Living Step No. 6: Sleep better.

If you have trouble sleeping, try these tips from sleep medicine specialist Lisa Shives, MD, medical director of Northshore Sleep Medicine in Evanston, Ill.

  • No TV or computer two hours before bedtime. It’s not just because the TV and computer are stimulating; it’s also because of their light. “We’re very sensitive to the cue that light gives you that it’s time to be up and about,” Shives says. She recommends light, calming reading lit by a lamp that doesn’t shine directly into your eyes.
  • No heavy exercise close to bedtime. Light stretching is OK, but vigorous activity will heat up your body’s core temperature, which makes it harder to sleep. “If you’re working up a sweat, you’re working too hard right before bed,” Shives says.
  • Take a hot bath. That will heat up your core body temperature, but when you get out of the bath, your core temperature will fall, which may help you get to sleep. Plus, the bath “relaxes you mentally,” Shives says. She adds that having a hot, noncaffeinated drink, such as chamomile tea, may also help.
  • Set a regular sleep schedule. When Shives treats insomnia patients, she tells them that although they can’t make themselves fall asleep, they can make themselves get up at a certain time the next morning. And though they may be tired at first, if they don’t nap, they may start sleeping better during the following nights. “We’re going to get nowhere if they take big naps during the day and keep a very erratic sleep schedule; it’s chaos then,” Shives says.
  • Don’t count on weekend catch-up sleep. If you have chronic sleep problems, you probably can’t make up for that on the weekends. But if you generally sleep well and have a rough week, go ahead and sleep in on the weekend. “I actually think that’s good for the body,” Shives says.
  • Don’t ignore chronic sleep problems. “Don’t let sleep troubles linger for months or years. Get to a sleep specialist earlier rather than later, before bad habits set in,” Shives says.
  • Prioritize good sleep. “This is as important as diet and exercise,” Shives says. She says that in our society, “we disdain sleep, we admire energy and hard work and [have] this notion that sleep is just something that gets in the way.”
Healthy Living Step No. 7: Improve your relationships.

Healthy living isn’t just about your personal habits for, say, diet and activity. It’s also about your connections with other people — your social network.

DeWall, the University of Kentucky social psychologist, offers these tips for broadening your social network:

  • Look for people like you. The details of their lives don’t have to match yours, but look for a similar level of openness. “What really is important in terms of promoting relationship well-being is that you share a similar level of comfort in getting close to people,” DeWall says. For instance, he says that someone who needs a lot of reassurance might not find the best relationship with someone who’s more standoffish. “Feel people out in terms of, ‘Does this person seem like me in terms of wanting to be close to other people?'” DeWall suggests.
  • Spend time with people. “There’s this emphasis in our culture that you need to be very independent — an army of one, you can get along on your own,” DeWall says. “Most people don’t know their neighbors as much as they did 50 or 60 years ago.”
  • Build both virtual and face-to-face relationships. DeWall isn’t against having online connections to other people. “But I think long term, having all of your relationships online or virtual … would probably be something that wouldn’t be as beneficial as having a mix” of having virtual and in-person relationships.
  • If a close relationship is painful, get help. “Some of my work and some work that other people are doing suggest that … when you feel rejected by someone, that your body actually registers it as pain. So if I’m in a relationship that’s really causing me a lot of pain, then we need to do something, we need to go and seek help,” DeWall says.
Healthy Living Step No. 8: Challenge your mind.

Participating in mentally stimulating activities, especially activities that involve other people, may be good for the brain.

There’s no downside to including brain-challenging activities as part of your healthy living, unless “you spent $400 on some computer program that makes all sorts of wild claims about brain health,” says David Knopman, MD, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

Knopman explains that brain fitness is influenced by many factors, including education and opportunities for mentally stimulating activities starting in childhood, and also by the presence or absence of depression, diabetes, smoking, high blood pressure, and other risks.

Observational studies have shown that people who engage in mentally stimulating activities may be less likely to develop dementia. But Knopman notes that such studies don’t prove cause and effect, so it’s not clear if mentally stimulating activities protect against dementia or whether people with healthier brains are drawn to those activities in the first place.

That said, Knopman says, “I think that socially engaging activities are particularly important, and that’s why I’m somewhat skeptical about the various commercial entities that seek to sell computer games to stimulate the brain. … If that’s done to the exclusion of socially engaging activity, it’s probably counterproductive.”

*****

Article originally posted at https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/healthy-living-8-steps-to-take-today#1

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Remembering to Take Baby Steps


I have a lot of ideas/plans/goals swirling around in my head lately. So many in my head, competing for time and attention and leaving me feeling overwhelmed. Then my urge is to retreat; to take a nap, walk Disco, or create some art. These are usually great activities for my well-being, but don't really serve me much when I use them as an escape (verses a quick recharge.)

One of my goals has been to update this blog. And to return to writing and sharing my voice/insight/knowledge/self. So this morning I spent at least 90 frustrating minutes trying to get my fancy new logo to work on here. But it's been so long since I've written, that I forgot a lot of the Blogger functionality. And even then it's not really an intuitive system. I started feeling overwhelm. Retreat was tapping on my shoulder. But just then, the thought came into my head that I should just write a small post. Just get started somewhere. Take a baby step towards my goal.

And that is when I remembered this post, Taking Baby Steps to Big Changes, that I wrote so many years ago. I reread it and felt impressed with that 8-year-ago version of myself. Sometimes I wonder where she (and her wisdom and moxie) went. But deep down, I know she's still in here somewhere. I have faith that I'll find her again. And that I'll eventually get that fancy-dancy logo on here. I just need to remember to keep moving forward. And keep taking baby steps.

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