Valentine's Day is almost here! This year I hope you give kindness and compassion to someone worthy of your attention. You.
Science is clear that self-love and self-care are critical to well-being and happiness. People who value themselves are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, have better health, and higher satisfaction in relationships.
One study, published in Clinical Psychological Science, showed people who focused on self-compassion had lower heart rates and sweat responses compared to those with critical thoughts about themselves. Study author, Dr. Hans Kirschner, explained the results, "These findings suggest that being kind to oneself switches off the threat response and puts the body in a state of safety and relaxation that is important for regeneration and healing."
Despite the many benefits, I've discovered two common beliefs that hold women back from practicing self-love and self-care:
Belief #1. Self-care is selfish.
My response: You become better in all of your roles and relationships when you are healthy and happy. In addition, you model the importance of physical and mental self-care to your loved ones. Win-win!
Belief #2. If I accept and love myself and my current body, I will become complacent and won't be motivated to make changes.
My response: 28 years of education and experience have shown me the the opposite! Shame and an "I-hate-my-body" attitude do not motivate positive change and instead reinforce negative behaviors.
So what does self-love and self-care look like? Well, it does NOT look like dieting, deprivation, or counting calories or grams! That's not love! Instead, it looks like:
- Valuing your well-being and happiness.
- Setting healthy boundaries with others.
- Talking to yourself with kindness and compassion.
- Caring for your here-and-now body with respect.
- Listening to your body's signals (like hunger and satiety).
- Eating nourishing foods and eating foods that bring you pleasure.
- Getting adequate rest and sleep.
- Frequent joyful movement.
- Forgiving yourself for past mistakes.
- Managing your stress in healthy ways.
- Surrounding yourself with people who lift you higher.
- Spending time in nature.
- Participating in activities that bring you joy.
- Living your values and speaking your truth.
- Acknowledging that self-love is a journey.
This Valentine's Day and beyond, please give yourself some love!
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I help women move beyond dieting and overwhelm, toward their passions and purpose. Email me at kathianne.williams(at)gmail.com, to learn more. Clients who start before the new Nourish.Create.Bloom. website launches on April 1st will receive a discount.
