For Well-Being and Happiness, Focus on Self-Love

Valentine's Day is almost here! This year I hope you give kindness and compassion to someone worthy of your attention. You.

Science is clear that self-love and self-care are critical to well-being and happiness. People who value themselves are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, have better health, and higher satisfaction in relationships. 

One study, published in Clinical Psychological Science, showed people who focused on self-compassion had lower heart rates and sweat responses compared to those with critical thoughts about themselves. Study author, Dr. Hans Kirschner, explained the results, "These findings suggest that being kind to oneself switches off the threat response and puts the body in a state of safety and relaxation that is important for regeneration and healing." 

Despite the many benefits, I've discovered two common beliefs that hold women back from practicing self-love and self-care:

Belief #1. Self-care is selfish.  

My response: You become better in all of your roles and relationships when you are healthy and happy. In addition, you model the importance of physical and mental self-care to your loved ones. Win-win!

Belief #2. If I accept and love myself and my current body, I will become complacent and won't be motivated to make changes.

My response: 28 years of education and experience have shown me the the opposite! Shame and an "I-hate-my-body" attitude do not motivate positive change and instead reinforce negative behaviors. 

So what does self-love and self-care look like? Well, it does NOT look like dieting, deprivation, or counting calories or grams! That's not love! Instead, it looks like:

• Valuing your well-being and happiness.
• Setting healthy boundaries with others. 
• Talking to yourself with kindness and compassion.
• Caring for your here-and-now body with respect.
• Listening to your body's signals (like hunger and satiety). 
• Eating nourishing foods and eating foods that bring you pleasure.
• Getting adequate rest and sleep.
• Frequent joyful movement.
• Forgiving yourself for past mistakes.
• Managing your stress in healthy ways.
• Surrounding yourself with people who lift you higher.
• Spending time in nature.
• Participating in activities that bring you joy.
• Living your values and speaking your truth.
• Acknowledging that self-love is a journey.

This Valentine's Day and beyond, please give yourself some love!  

💗💗💗

I help women move beyond dieting and overwhelm, toward their passions and purpose. Email me at kathianne.williams(at)gmail.com, to learn more. Clients who start before the new Nourish.Create.Bloom. website launches on April 1st will receive a discount.

Tranquilista Interview

I'm super excited to share that my interview with Kimberly Wilson (author of Tranquilista and Hip Tranquil Chick) is now live.

It's a free podcast that's about 20 minutes long.  She asked me about nourishing rituals, stress and time management, finding your happy weight, emotional eating, body image, and more.

Click here to listen or to download the podcast.  It's the perfect accompaniment for your next power walk!

Love Your Body Day

Today is the 12th annual Love Your Body Day sponsored by the National Organization for Women Foundation. According to the NOW Foundation's website, "this campaign is a giant shout out to the fashion, beauty, diet and advertising industries: No more fake images! Show us real women, diverse women, strong women, bold women. And to the women and girls who are targeted by messages telling them that the key to success and happiness is manufactured beauty, we say: It's okay to "Be You" -- the true you is beautiful."

So in honor of Love Your Body Day, I challenge you to take a moment to celebrate your body and appreciate all it does for you each day. It may not be the "ideal" weight or free of blemishes, but it carries your spirit through each day of your life all the same. It allows you to hug and be held, kiss and dance, smile and shout, hear laughter, and see tomorrow's sunrise.

So, I thank you Body. I love you. I celebrate all you do for me. And for today, I'll even love your pimples and butt dimples. But to be completely honest Body, it's not going to be easy loving those parts of you for the next 364 days until Love Your Body Day 2010. But I promise to keep at it.

No Fat Talk

Are you aware of your self-talk and how you converse with others about weight and appearance? Are your comments empowering and uplifting or discouraging and demeaning?

If you frequently participate in "fat talk" about yourself or others, consider making a change. Remember that you are not only affecting your self-esteem, but influencing the little girls and teens who hear you.

In honor of Fat Talk Free Week (October 19th-23rd) I am posting a link to this AMAZING, powerful, must-see 3 minute video: CLICK HERE

I'm so proud of my sorority, Delta Delta Delta, by making a difference with this video and other empowering body image education.

Let's Get Crafty: Scale & Mirror Signs

Last week I hosted a craft day with two friends and fellow bloggers, Laura and Angela. We made mirror and scale signs.

What are those, you ask? Well, they're signs you post on your mirror or scale to remind you that you're fabulous. If you are like most women I know, you could benefit from a positive affirmation or two. Especially when you're looking in the mirror sans makeup or when you're hopping on the scale.

Even at 34, my main body image issue is blemished skin. So, the sign I made for my mirror reminds me to put those pimples in perspective.

I made the scale sign below for one of my nutrition & wellness coaching clients. Even though I recommend she weigh herself no more than once a week, she does it more frequently. And, like most of my clients, the number on the scale dictates how she then feels about herself. (Don't worry, we're working on changing that. )

To make your own sign:

1. Cut cover or card stock to desired size. (The signs I made are 3" x 3")

2. Type and print your affirmation. Have fun with fonts. Here are a few of my favorites:

-You look fabulous when you feel fabulous.

-Don't let a number dictate how you feel.

-Girl, you are beautiful when you smile.

-Your weight has nothing to do with your worth.

-One year from now, you won't remember this pimple.

3. Decorate your sign and add your positive affirmation.

4. If you want to laminate your sign, use heat and seal laminating pages. (Find them in office supply stores). These work well with irons (you don't need a laminating machine) but be sure to use the included paper pouch to protect your iron.

5. Trim excess laminate from your sign.

6. If you want to add glitter, rhinestones, or other accents, glue these on after you laminate your sign. Laminating doesn't work so well when the project gets too thick.

To hang your sign: you can tape it to your scale or mirror, punch one center top hole and use a suction hook on your mirror, or punch two top holes and use ribbon.

Have fun making these and let me know what you come up with!

Find Your HAPPY Weight

As a dietitian and wellness coach, I help women find their happy weight. Yes, I am aware that happy and weight are rarely used in the same sentence. I'm on a one-woman crusade to change that.

"What," you may now be asking, "is a happy weight?"

A happy weight:

• is a weight where you feel comfortable and confident
• is a weight that supports your health and happiness
• is a weight you can reach and maintain without extreme measures

Finding your happy weight may include more than changing the way you look. It may involve changing the way you see.

Bikini Ready

If summer has you stressed about being seen in public in a bikini, you need to keep on reading. My friend Angela, at CurvyLife.com, writes a wonderful blog that promotes body acceptance. She has written an inspiring and courageous post called Facing Down the Bikini. Read it right before you head to the next pool party and feel empowered to strut your stuff.

What's Your Superpower?

My best friend, Julia, complains on occasion about her body.  She’s had three babies via C-section in the last 4 years and breast-fed them all.  The youngest is now six weeks old.

For a few weeks now, I have been asking her to write a paragraph or two about her views on body image.  As you can imagine, writing something for my blog is not high on her list of priorities.  So, I’ve listened to what she’s said and attempted to recreate her voice and view.  (Yes, she has given me permission to write about her.  Don’t worry- I won’t publish any private conversations that I may have with you.)

Creating and carrying life for nine months is nothing short of a miracle.  Then, being able to nourish that baby from your own breasts- that is also a beautiful and distinctly female gift that should not be undervalued.  But, we all know how much our culture values ‘perfection,’ thinness, and appearance.  And if you live in this appearance-obsessed world, no matter how much you value your ability to create and sustain life, loving your post-body baby can still be a challenge.  No one is excited about stretched-out stomach skin, saggy breasts, and the addition of spider and varicose veins.  

Julia said she saw a bumper sticker once that made her feel better.  She now reminds herself of this bumper sticker when she starts feeling bad about her body.  There on the back of a car was her new mantra: “I make milk, what’s your superpower?”