Nourish. Create. Bloom.

Too Much Knocking

2012-01-31T00:21:00.000-05:00

I recently came across this quote and it smacked me in the face:

Many of us knock on the door but remain outside, because knocking and entering are entirely different actions. Knocking is necessary, consisting of reading books, attending meetings, asking questions. But entrance requires much bolder action. It requires one to enter into himself, to uncover hidden motives, to see contradictions, and to realize the actual power for self-change. -Vernon Howard

In regards to a certain dream of mine- writing and publishing a book- I've been knocking for quite a while now. The above quote made me uncomfortable because I was made aware of my status- firmly planted on the welcome mat in front of a closed door. I'm not sure what is stopping me (fear of failure probably), but I've decided the knocking stops here. I'm taking a bold action towards entering: I'm going public, dear reader, and I'm letting you in on my secret. I'm hoping your words of affirmation and the forced accountability that going public provides will have me soon crossing the threshold.

Here's the scoop:
All during my journey to motherhood, I was journaling. Through the months trying to conceive, the etopic pregnancy and loss, the unsuccessful IVF, and then our adoption, I wrote to the baby girl that I knew would one day be ours. I filled one journal and started another. While a few steps along the journey were posted on this blog, the most raw and private details stayed hidden in my notebooks. I never posted anything about the esoteric ways I tried to increase my fertility, the challenging and sometimes insulting adoption process, or the sadness that occasionally still stabs at my heart when I see a pregnant woman. My daughter will inherit the journals when she is mature enough to read them. They are a testament to my deep desire to be a mother, my longing for her to come to us, the inner struggles one has when "choosing a baby" through adoption, and the challenge infertility and adoption place on a couple. They are a heart-felt written record of all we endured to become parents.

During my journey, I did a lot of reading. The most healing books for me were the memoirs of women who went before me. I related to those women in a way that I didn't relate to anyone else. Especially because so many people keep their baby struggles private. To someone going through the journey, it seems as if everyone got, is, or can get pregnant without issues. I believe publishing the journals would be healing for other women. I believe this so strongly, I've asked my extremely private husband for his consent. For our pain to help others, for our story to impart hope, well, that would make it all worthwhile. Almost.

Authenticity with Alex

2012-01-24T22:53:00.000-05:00

(image credit)

The journey for authenticity is a rich one because in a way you're never not you, and in a way, you can live your whole life without being who you are. The question is- can your mind and actions be aligned with your deeper self? When doing movement, the way to practice that is to notice when you're coming from you, your interests, passions, curiosity, and when you are copying, judging, comparing, channeling, and trying to be like another. It's a fine line and a rewarding one to learn.
-Alex Iglecia

Isn't that an incredible quote? I confess- I had to read it a few times before its fullness sank in.

I've been fortunate to have many inspiring teachers in my life, and Alex Iglecia is one of them. I even trudged across Boston on dark and cold winter nights to attend his meditation class. Alex is super intelligent, deep, and intense and I'm pretty sure I don't always get the full gist of what he says. But I dig that he's frequently discussing authenticity, integrity, and how to continue evolving.

During a recent online conversation, I told him I'm choosing to view parenting as a spiritual practice. So far it's been a great lesson in mindfulness. He responded with an enlightening answer, as always, "So is childing... it's certainly shift-worthy." And that, my dear readers, I do get.

********
I'm in the middle of reading Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabot-Zinn. While I haven't finished it yet, I've already recommend it to several friends. It's been healing for my "childing" and hopefully will make me more conscious at parenting.

Proud to Be Colorful

2012-01-16T13:27:00.001-05:00

Our little family is proud to be colorful.

As we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to those who stood (and continue to stand) for equality. Many risked their lives and some were murdered for their beliefs. It wasn't long ago, and it happened in our country of freedom. The actions and sacrifices of those brave activists have enabled our family to live MLK's dream.

Personally, I think we'll know our country has overcome it's race issues when the mall Santa isn't always white and no one thinks it's a big deal. I hope that happens in my lifetime.

***********

PS: For information on how to talk to your children about race, I recommend Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. Chapter 3, Why White Parents Don't Talk About Race, is fascinating and may be surprising to many parents.
PPS: Thanks to my baby girl for lending me her dolls for this photo.

Feeling Grateful

2012-01-14T12:59:00.001-05:00

I don't know if you are like me, but I find if I'm not mindful, it's way too easy to focus on the negative. Our consumer-oriented culture continually reminds us of what we don't have. But the antidote only takes a minute: I list what I am thankful for. And just like that, my world is a happier, brighter, and more positive place.

Here are a few things I'm feeling thankful for today:
1. Hubby has off for 24 straight hours!
2. During his precious time off he woke up with Baby Girl so I could sleep in, solved my new phone issue, and made my gmail more secure.
3. Baby Girl is taking a long nap so I can write this post.
4. It's sunny outside.
5. Reem had a healthy baby GIRL!
6. Lisa arrived home safely. (She was driving cross-country and made a 3-day pit stop in Dallas.)
7. I'm writing again.
8. We have enough. More than enough.
9. We are healthy.
10. We have each other.

What are you feeling thankful for today?

Winter Sparkle

2012-01-10T23:44:00.000-05:00

Well, it's a new year and I'm feeling motivated to write again. Maybe it's because I'm sleeping better (Baby Girl is now sometimes sleeping through the night) or maybe it's because of all your wonderful comments. Thank you dear readers for your kind words- blog comments add sparkle to my day.

Since your words encouraged me to take steps towards one of my life goals (writing and publishing a book), I'm sending them back your way with the following quote:

When we are motivated by goals that have deeper meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing- then we truly live life. -Greg Anderson

So here's to love expressed, meaningful goals, and big dreams. And making someone's day a little sparklier.

PS: I've been so inspired, I changed the look of the blog. What do you think? It took me much longer to figure out than I care to admit, but I finally got my own artwork up there in the banner.

Baby Steps to Big Changes

2012-01-04T20:56:00.000-05:00

Last week I witnessed an incredible event. My baby girl took her first-ever unassisted steps. The next morning, two Today Show guests- both had lost half of their body weight during 2011- encouraged others by saying, "Take baby steps."

And once again, I was humbled to realize that I am learning as much about life from my one-year-old as she is learning from me.

As a dietitian and health coach, I have told many clients over the years to take small steps to achieve their goals. But having witnessed Baby Girl's breakthrough the night before, it dawned on me that there was much more to this suggestion than merely the size of the steps.

So whatever your goals are for 2012, here is some advice from Baby Girl on how to reach your next milestone:

Prepare. First we did tummy time. She hated it and cried a lot but we did it anyway. Then she learned to roll over. Then stand, crawl, and walk with a walker.
Celebrate successes along the way. She squealed with joy when using her walker for the first time and would shake her bootie when learning to climb. She reveled in her progress and had fun along the way.
Find support. She held our hands, the couch, and the walker, before she could go solo. At each milestone (and in between) I cheered for her. I clapped and encouraged. As my girl Oprah says, find people who are going to lift you higher.
Set reasonable expectations. Baby Girl wasn't trying to win a race, she was just trying to go two feet to reach Auntie Lisa.
Keep looking forward. Learn from the past, but look ahead of you. And keep your eyes off the floor.
Expect falls. Focus on progress, not perfection. Learn from your slips. Cry if you need to but then get up and try again.
Don't worry if you aren't perfect. It's okay to be wobbly. It's okay to put your hands in front of you and walk like a mummy. It's okay to revert to crawling on occasion.
Have faith in the process and faith in yourself. Many have come before you and succeeded and many will follow. You too can do it.
And finally, let go of the coffee table and just go for it!

Happy Miracle Day

2011-05-07T17:21:00.002-04:00

What a difference a year (or two) makes.

Days before Mother's Day in 2009, my first and only pregnancy ended in the emergency room. Mother's Day was a painful reminder of what I was not.

Last year, I went to our IVF clinic early in the morning and awaited a call from the doctor. After shots and procedures, we were hoping for a miracle. What were the odds that the test was scheduled on Mother's Day? I was certain it was a positive sign. It wasn't. Our hopes and $20,000 lost. Not pregnant.

This year, a miracle. As I type this, I am looking at our beautiful baby girl. She is sweeter and more lovely than I ever dreamed. She may not have my genes, but somehow she has my eyes. Her name means "little girl prayed for." She's the answer to years of prayers. And I am so blessed to be her mama.

If you are facing challenges and losses on your way to motherhood, I understand. The wait seems interminable. Each month waiting to take that pregnancy test feels like forever. And then the devastation when the damn thing reads "Not Pregnant." And everyone around you is getting pregnant- even those who aren't trying! And every commercial talks about babies, or motherhood, or pregnancy. But know this: your baby will find you. But it will be on his or her own terms and timeline. Somehow, someway, your baby will end up in your arms. And the long wait will make you an incredible mother. You won't take a moment for granted, you won't sweat the small stuff, and you will be grateful everyday for the little blessing in your life. And you will experience the miracle that is motherhood.

M.I.A.

2011-04-08T15:26:00.002-04:00

I'm a bit embarrassed by how long it has been since my last post. Yikes! I don't know how mommy bloggers do it as this new mommy can't seem to find time to blog (or be crafty for that matter.) I am blissfully busy taking care of my sweet pea. But as Baby Girl is getting bigger I anticipate that I will find the time once again.

I did want you to know that I am alive and well. And I also wanted to share a photo I took this week during our trip to Atlanta.

I was at my sweet friend Emily's home for an impromptu reunion with the Crafty Chicks, when someone wrote Mama on my cup. It was something so small, but it made me so incredibly happy.

It's been almost 4 months, and I am still over the moon.

Embracing Winter

2011-01-27T23:48:00.001-05:00

I feel incredibly blessed that I am now living in Dallas. The forecast this week is sunny and mid-50's. But for many long winters, I wasn't as fortunate. For a girl who isn't a fan of cold weather, somehow I survived a total of 32 long, dark, and freezing winters in Pennsylvania, Minnesota, and Massachusetts. So when I was interviewed by NCB reader and WorkAwesome writer, Sarah Nagel, on how to stay healthy, happy, and energized during the winter, I felt I had a lot of experience to draw from. Here's the interview:

http://workawesome.com/general/winter-depression

The article was picked up by LifeHacker too, so you can read the tips here in a different format:

http://lifehacker.com/5719505/how-to-stay-happy-and-motivated-during-the-winter

Stay warm my dear readers and let me know your tips for embracing winter!

Worth the Wait

2011-01-02T17:29:00.000-05:00

She didn't come when I wanted,

but she was worth the wait.

She didn't arrive how we expected,

but there is no doubt she was destined to be ours.

I wasn't the vessel,

but I was the destination.

Teeny baby girl,

you made my dream come true.

I am your mama.

And I love you.

The Right Friends

2010-12-08T14:06:00.000-05:00

"While the right friends are near us, we feel that all is well. Our everyday life blossoms suddenly into bright possibilities." Helen Keller

I am blessed with many "right friends." But today I want to send a special shout-out to my dear friend Reem. I haven't seen her in about two years, but that doesn't matter- I can feel her friendship despite the time and distance. When I lost my only pregnancy, she sent homemade cookies. Reem had her mother, who lives in Palestine, light a candle and say a special prayer for me and our future baby in an ancient church in the Holy Land. When IVF failed us, she sent a ceramic angel to watch over me. Recently, she mailed me a hot pink book entitled, "Bloom." It's filled with wonderful quotes like the one above, that inspire us to bloom. I look forward to sharing more of them with you. And I love the idea that her act of kindness will go through me and inspire you as well.

Thanks Reem. You've been the right friend for the past 14 years. Girl, your friendship keeps me blooming.

The Rogue Blog Post

2010-11-17T15:57:00.003-05:00

This morning I received an unexpected blog comment from my sweet friend Heather: "What a great start to the morning! It's great to see you blogging again, Kathianne. I've missed you!"

This was surprising for two reasons: 1. Heather just had her fourth baby so I don't know how she has time to read my blog and 2. I didn't write a blog post. Yep. My blog (or more accurately the email subscription service I use) randomly picked a post from March and emailed it to all my dear subscribers. You thought it looked familiar, didn't you?

It appears that the Universe (or my blog?) is sending me a message to start writing again. Or maybe there was something in that post that a subscriber needed to hear?

Anyway, my blogging hiatus wasn't planned. A while ago I told myself I wasn't going to stress about the frequency of my posts. I'm not getting paid to blog- it's just for fun and because I want to share some of myself (insights, stories, and art) with the world. (As it turns out, connecting with my readers and other bloggers has been incredibly rewarding.) It's just that over the past few weeks I just haven't been inspired to share. Actually, that's not true. A few weeks ago I wrote a really raw and revealing baby update but my husband respectfully requested I not post it. In the past, I've revealed a lot on here which I assume has not been easy for him. He's as private as I am open. And this was his first request for blogging privacy which I had no problem honoring. But after that I just got stuck. I couldn't post about what was most on my mind, and everything else seemed trivial to me. So no new posts. Until now.

So, what to share in this new post after so many weeks of silence? Well, there appears to be a bright light at the end of our long and dark (yet enlightening and insightful) journey. The last few weeks I have been busy preparing for something very special. And I can't wait to share that news with you. But I don't want to jinx it. So I am going to tell you after the fact. I hope that's okay with you.

So until next time, nourish yourself dear reader.

Bibliophilia: 12 Surprising Reasons Why I Have a Love Affair with Books

2010-09-21T16:59:00.000-04:00

My husband and I just celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary last week.

But I confess, I also have another love.

Books.

Here are the top 12 somewhat surprising reasons why I have a love affair with books. Books...

1. Give You Power: Knowledge is power and books are filled with knowledge. When I have an issue that seems to rob my power (relationship issues, IVF, the adoption process), reading about the issue or how other women dealt with it helps me to feel more in control and better able to make informed decisions. Fortunately, no matter what problem you have, there are always a hundred self-help books about it. Unfortunately they usually have conflicting advice.
2. Allow You to Be a Detective: You can learn a lot about your friends and acquaintances by checking out their bookshelf.
3. Make You Seem Intelligent: I was at a dinner last week when someone made a comment about John Galt. I'd already felt super proud of myself for having made it through Atlas Shrugged -it's as long than the Bible- but at that moment, I felt incredibly intelligent -or at least well-read- at a table with 3 surgeons.
4. Are Portable: I rarely go anywhere without a book in my bag. So I carry a larger handbag, but they're in style anyway. This habit is leftover from my days riding the T in Boston. Public transportation without a book is a no-no. Which leads me to the next reason....
5. Increase Patience: Books make any wait pleasurable. Long line at the post office or dentist? Friend running late? Not a problem, I brought a book. I can wait patiently. And me being more patient- that's a BIG deal.
6. Build Character: Memoirs give insight into other people's lives. Reading about other people's tragedies and triumphs fills me with empathy, gratitude, and inspiration. And as a bonus: they can simultaneously satisfy one's inner voyeur.

7. Are Colorful Home Decor: Our loft is filled with books that are arranged by color (a tip I got from a decorating magazine years ago.) Being surrounded by books makes me feel at home. And comforted.
Disclaimer: Color coordinating your books makes it a challenge to locate a book. You have to remember the color of the spine. NOT easy.
8. Enhance Connection: Although I've only ever been a book club drop out (too many books, too little time to read what I want to read) it was fun to connect with the club members for those first 2 meetings.

9. Are Hangover Free Mood Enhancers: When I am feeling down, getting into bed (or into a bath) with a book provides a temporary escape from my problems.

10. Provide Hours of Entertainment: This year I decided to track my bibliophilia. Since January 1st I've completed 21 books and have read over 6486 pages. Yikes! That's a lot of time I could have been cleaning, working, or perhaps doing something others may consider more "productive." But I'm okay with it. The words fill my mind and nourish my spirit. What's really more productive than that?
11. Are Inexpensive: You can get them for cheap at the Goodwill or free when you swap with friends or visit the public library. I mourn being able to go weekly to the Boston Public Library. Now I frequent bookstores (so soothing) and rarely leave without a purchase (not so soothing). In fact, as I type this I'm at Borders.
12. Are A Side-Effect Free Sleeping Aid: I read every night when I get in bed. It makes my eyes tired and helps me fall asleep. Otherwise I lie there thinking, thinking, thinking......

So, what to read? Getting book recommendations is the best. I love when friends pass along their favorite reads. Please leave a comment and let me know what books you've enjoyed and which ones have left their mark on you. I've done the same for you below.

Here are my favorite reads so far from this year.
1. The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs.
2. Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult
3. The Other Bolyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory
4. The Help by Kathryn Stocket
5. Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott
6. Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff

Welcome to Texas

2010-09-12T17:26:00.000-04:00

We just moved into our new place on Thursday. We're up to our ears in boxes and without cable, internet, or a clue where anything is (in the apartment or in Dallas). But I wanted to write a quick post and let you know we have arrived. Our stuff has arrived. And I'm now officially a Texan.

It still seems surreal that we are living in Texas!

But I don't have to look far to be reminded that yes, we are in Texas.

In Boston we had statues of Sam Adams.

In Atlanta, MLK, Jr.

In Dallas, cowboys and cattle.

Nice chaps! And spurs.

I'm sending lots of love from the Lone Star State to all my friends across the country.

And the winner is.....

2010-09-08T16:17:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to Rachel Awes! She is the winner of the first NCB giveaway. Rachel will receive a $70 gift certificate to CSN Stores. Not too shabby! (FYI: I used the random number generator at random.org to find our winner. Such a nifty little service. Rachel was the 5th post of 19 and 5 turned out to be lucky.)

Thanks to all who participated and keep on reading- I plan to do lots more giveaways!

The First Ever Nourish. Create. Bloom. Giveaway!

2010-08-30T15:59:00.000-04:00

Are you feeling lucky? I hope so because one lovely NCB reader will win a $70 gift certificate to 200+ CSN Stores!

I've been scouring the CSN sites and here are a few items on my wish list for our new Dallas home: retro kitchen tables, luxury bedding, colorful throw pillows, and a stainless steel cookware set. I'm sure you will find something (maybe shoes, bags, or yoga supplies?) that will make your home or closet bloom!

It's easy breezy to enter: All you need to do is write a comment by midnight (EST) September 6th. The comment needs to be ON THE BLOG (not on Facebook or via email). The winner will then be announced shortly after the contest closes. Be sure to check back to see if you are the lucky winner!

Thanks for reading and good luck!

Note: The gift certificate does not include shipping costs but many items in the stores have free shipping.
And last but not least: a big thanks to CSN Stores for sponsoring our giveaway!

Embracing Change

2010-08-19T18:41:00.000-04:00

The hubby and I are moving to Dallas in less than 2 weeks. My mind has been swirling. When I start to think about the move, my breathing becomes shallow and I start to feel anxious. I haven't been inspired to write. So, it's been a long time since I wrote my last post. (Yes, I do realize my last post was about Jean DiGiovanna moving and how she found the courage to do so. But even when we make a decision to do something, it's okay to feel a bit unsettled, don't you think?)

We've been in Atlanta for 2 years now. And two years ago I was feeling this same way. It was hard to move from Boston. I was there for 10 years! At the time I didn't know how much I would grow to love Atlanta and my friends here. How this city would become my home. I feel like I finally know my way around. We've found our favorite coffee shops, vegetarian-friendly restaurants, and eco-dry cleaner. I found my sewing circle, a Spanish tutor, Crafty Chick Night, and a great dermatologist (not an easy task). It took me two years to get here and now we are moving again and starting over once more. I know that I will make new friends, my old friends can visit, there will be new places to discover, and new opportunities. But still, I feel a sense of loss. It takes time to build a community. And in the meantime, there will be some lonely times ahead. I don't want to linger in the sadness. I'm just acknowledging it and moving forward.

So I've been practicing the breathing and stress management exercises that I teach to my clients. I've been journaling. And I've been reading this quote to bring me peace:

Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it's something we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they're meant to be. -anonymous

You know I love a quote that mentions blossoming! I also discovered this beautiful art journal from Andrea Schroeder at ABC Creativity that's gotten me inspired:

The powerful words in her journal have encouraged me to embrace this move:

i embrace change. i am strong. i am brave. i trust life. i trust myself. even when it's difficult or even hard, i can dive into the unknown. i trust the process. i make friends with change. i know that there are always gifts on the other side. -Andrea Schroeder

So here I come Dallas. I'm ready for your gifts. I'm ready to blossom and bloom. And I'm even ready to find a new dermatologist.

Meet Jean DiGiovanna

2010-07-29T21:23:00.002-04:00

Today I'm introducing you to someone who made a difference in my life. Readers, meet Jean DiGiovanna.

Back in 2005, I saw Jean for life and career coaching. Within months of meeting Jean, I quit a job that was no longer satisfying and starting checking off items on my lifetime to-do list (including attending a Spanish immersion school in Mexico for 5 weeks by myself and trying out for the Patriots Cheerleading Squad at 32.) She helped me clarify my values and make intentional choices based on them. Even now, when I need to make a big life or career decision, I go back to the handouts and exercises that we did together. I'm also positive her coaching influences the nutrition and wellness coaching I do now.

Her services weren't cheap, but it was money I invested in myself. And worth every single penny.

Below is my insightful interview with Jean. Read on and you'll see just why she made such an impact on me. Enjoy, my dear readers!

K: In the midst of a down economy and after 25 years living in Boston, you are moving clear across the country and starting over. Tell us about how you made this courageous choice.

J: It’s really hard to pinpoint exactly how I made the choice, but, like many choices in life, it’s all about timing and “heeding the call”. While I have a great life and business here in Boston and great friends and support structure, I never pictured myself living here long-term. I guess you could call it a “sixth” sense, but it was just something I felt. At the same time, I never knew where I saw myself, so I continued to build my life here. The biggest catalyst was when my father’s health began to improve early this year and that relief and gratefulness had me question my own life. When you experience a loved one getting ill and almost losing them, it makes you realize how precious life is. He now has a second lease on life and it had me take a hard look at what I really want. I knew it was time for me to stop wondering where I was supposed to live and start living there! If not now, than when? It was like my soul would no longer let me “hang out” in the not knowing anymore. What helped me get clear were simple questions like “Where could I see myself? Where would I like to live? What places bring me alive?” Colorado and California came to me and although both places are far away, the fact that I have family, friends and colleagues in both places definitely helped. I took 2.5 weeks in March and travelled to Colorado with the intention of “could I see myself here” and as soon as I drove from the airport to Denver and saw the Front Range, I knew. There was something about the mountains that really affected me and I knew I had to be closer to them. I also came to discover over the last few years how much nature and being outdoors feeds my soul. It did take me a while for my “mind” to come around to the idea and stop fighting the fear, but that is why I have a coach myself and others who support me and help me stay grounded and focused on what is important. In the end, it was about following my soul even though I didn’t exactly know where it would lead me.

K: What advice do you have for others who may be hesitant to take risks and make big changes?

J: If you were not hesitant or fearful in some way, you probably are not human. Of course, everyone has differing levels of fear and hesitation, but it is completely common to feel that way. So, the first piece of advice I have is stop making yourself wrong! The best thing to do is acknowledge the hesitation or fear and get curious about it. You don’t have to dwell in it, but explore what is there, not why it’s there, but what is there. What are you afraid of? What stops you from taking the leap? Journal your answers, get support, but most of all, bring it out in the open because if we don’t move through it, it will just show up again in some other form. So, in a nutshell, acknowledge it, embrace it, get curious about it and you will begin to notice it will not have as much control over you as it once had.

K: Tell me a bit about your business. What are your clients seeking when they come to see you?

J: I will focus specifically on my coaching business here. When clients come to me, they want to seek greater fulfillment in their life and/or work. They want to discover their soul’s purpose or calling. They seek to have better relationships at work and at home. They come to me to help them find their voice, speak their truth and stand more fully in their personal power. They come to me because they want to feel more “alive” in their life.

K: What are the biggest misconceptions with life and career coaching?

J: That it’s therapy. That they speak and we just listen and nod and tell them what to do. It is completely the opposite (except the listening part!). A great coach is one who can listen openly without judging and responds with powerful questions. The premise of coaching is the client has the answers. Often, it’s the right question that just hasn’t been asked. Coaching can be therapeutic, but it is not therapy. We don’t go back to dig up the past. We start with today and look at what you want in the future. We will explore what gets in the way and help you move through it.

K: What might your clients be surprised to know about you?

J: That, like many others, I wait until the last minute to do things. But, instead of calling myself a procrastinator and making myself wrong every time I do it, now I just honor that it’s how I am and it’s the way that I process. I really do mull over what I’m working on for a while before putting it down on paper. It doesn’t mean I’m not working on it, but from an outside perspective, it can easily appear that way. What I say is that I “marinate,” instead of procrastinate! The other thing that might surprise them is that I’m not always busy doing a million things just because I do have several businesses and enjoy many things. My secret is that I do many things, but I do all of them part-time. That is what allows me to maintain several businesses. It’s also what helps me stay creative and engaged. From the outside, though, people think I’m superwoman and that because there are so many different businesses I have, I must be busy all the time. Balance is extremely important to me and when I’m out of balance, life is not good. So, as soon as I begin to feel that, I quickly do what I need to get back in balance.

K: You are also creative (writing poems and making jewelry.) How does that impact your coaching business?

J: It feeds my business and vice-versa. The great thing about completely different areas is that they use different parts of my brain and energy. If I were just focusing on one thing or one service in my business, I would be bored to death. It’s what keeps me feeling alive and sparks my creativity. The writing and painting and jewelry making are very meditative for me so they also balance out my energy and help rejuvenate me. It’s so important to recharge your batteries whether it be reading, doing yoga, meditating or playing with your kids or pet. It doesn’t matter what it is – what matters is that it feeds your energy and helps bring you alive again.

K: What else do you do to nourish yourself?

J: I love to salsa dance and it’s a great way to get out of my head from “thinking” mode and to move my body. That is also why any kind of exercise or body movement is great for balancing out your energy. Partner dancing allows me to “let go” and let the man lead. I believe dancing is the best metaphor for partnership and if 2 people can truly learn how to dance, it adds so much more dimension to the relationship. Dancing is what helped me learn how to “let go” in life and allow myself to receive. And, the interesting thing is as I began to learn how to use my voice more and stand in my personal power and my feminine energy, my dancing would greatly improve. I also enjoy baking and have always had a sweet tooth and I could sit in front of a cooking show for hours and not get bored! I don’t watch a lot of TV and may be the only person who still has rabbit ears and a converter box with my TV, but I always say, if I had cable, I would like to just order 2 channels, the Food channel and HGTV!

One of the other ways I nourish myself is to get outdoors. When things seem crazy, overwhelming or I just need to rest my mind and regroup, being with nature and out in the fresh air, whether it be walking in the snow or enjoying a great summer day, being outdoors is very grounding for me. That is also one of the biggest catalysts to moving out to Colorado – there is so much outdoor space that it utilized and enjoyed by so many!

K: Do you have any other advice you would like to share with NCB readers?

J: Thank you for asking! Do what makes you come alive. If you are not sure what that is, begin to track the things and people and surroundings that make you feel good. Start noticing patterns and begin to pursue them. Don’t wait for life to fulfill you. Follow your energy and what you love to do because when you do that, life will support you. Incredible people will come across your path and great opportunities will present themselves when you follow your passions. Be gentle with yourself and honor exactly where you are. And, know that divine timing is always perfect!

See what I mean? Isn't she just amazing?

To learn more about Jean, visit her here: www.ThinkPeople.com

Here's Jean embracing life on a recent trip to Colorado.

It's Your Turn

2010-07-26T17:33:00.001-04:00

Hey!

In case you forgot:

I'll take tomorrow.

Sending Out Love Today

2010-07-10T15:06:00.001-04:00

I have to give credit to Rachel Awes for this post idea.

I'm copying her.

But really, can you copy sending out love?

Can too much love be sent out?

I think not.

She dropped the love rock in the pond

and I am just happy to be a ripple.

Will you be a ripple too?

____________

On an uninspiring note: If you are getting Nourish. Create. Bloom. sent to you via email, can you let me know if it's arriving in an unreadable format? I've heard from 2 readers that the emailed format is funny, but others seem to have no issues. Your input is most appreciated.

Who Are You?

2010-07-08T19:25:00.001-04:00

"Have you ever been asked this question: “Who are you?”

Have you ever asked yourself this question: “Who are you?”

What’s your answer?"

These are the words of Shawn Poh. And I was inspired by his post at Lovtoo. He writes that he asks himself this everyday. I think that's a wonderful idea.

Recently I've had to ask myself this question often. See, I've been clearing out my closet. And in the past year or so I've realized: I am no longer the 20-something girl who wears mini-skirts. So why were they were still in my closet? Well, so many memories were tied up with those wonderful little skirts and dresses.

But I had to clear out the old to make way for the new.
The self that I am now.
And just who is that self? Well, here's my answer to Shawn Poe's question.

I’m a dietitian, artist, wellness coach, personal trainer, & writer.
I’m a lover of life.
I’m a friend, wife, sister, daughter, & aunt.
I’m a big fan of the Wizard of Oz.
I’m the owner of too many self-help books.
I’m grateful that I’m healthy.
I’m occasionally amazed that I managed to snag my husband.
I'm a crafty chick.
I dig decoupage.
I'm a Charlotte.
I’m happiest in sundresses and sandals while sitting in sunshine.
I am no longer a mini-skirt wearing gal.
I’m the creator of Nourish. Create. Bloom.
I’m REALLY into glitter.
I~~’m trying to become a mama.~~
I'm going to be a mama. And one that sparkles!

Be sure to read the Lovtoo post. Shawn's own answer is inspiring.

Who are you, my dear reader? I'd love to hear your answer to this question.

9

2010-07-04T13:33:00.000-04:00

Nine years together. I'm so lucky.

Click below for the details &

Happy Independence Day!

Bruschetta Night

2010-07-01T15:52:00.004-04:00

My BFF Julia was visiting from Arizona last week. She has three kiddos and lives clear across the country so we don't get much alone time together anymore. But both sets of her in-laws generously took the kids and we had 5 days of girl time! It was such a treat.

For dinner one night we made 3 different kinds of bruschetta. (I'm not sure if they all classify as bruschetta, but I call it Bruschetta Night so please just go with it.) All three options are vegan, although I did throw some fresh mozzarella on my traditional bruschetta.

Here's us slaving away while sipping wine.

And here are the creations:

1. traditional bruschetta with artichoke hearts,

tomatoes, garlic, basil, and onions with balsamic vinegar and olive oil and

2. homemade hummus with marinated peppers

3. sautéed mushrooms, onions, spinach,

and garlic with balsamic vinegar and olive oil

All three were a big hit

and earned a high five from my hubby.

(One never knows when creatively cooking sans recipe.)

And now I'm a convert to homemade hummus-

so easy and so much tastier.

PS: I had my husband proofread this post,

and he said his mouth started watering just looking at the photos.

So I think it's a dinner I'll be making again soon

(although sadly without Julia).

Bloom Where You Are Planted

2010-06-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, when I was stopped in traffic,

I looked left and saw this:

In a rough neighborhood,

in an abandoned lot,

on a graffitied wall.

from an old pipe,

this little pink flower moved me.

With an upcoming relocation on my mind, it's presence reminded me:

It doesn't matter where you are planted. Just bloom.

Things that Made me Happy this Week

2010-06-18T15:54:00.000-04:00

What made you HaPpY this week,

my dear readers?

Temptation

2010-06-08T20:04:00.003-04:00

Serious temptation.

It doesn't take much for me to get excited.

Baubles, buttons, and beads- oh my!

All that glittering goodness was almost too much to resist.

My inner conversation went like this:

Kathianne, you have enough glitter.

But it's 50% off! Look at all those colors!

Kathianne, you have enough. You're trying to live with less things.

But it's glitter!

Can you believe I left without a sparkling purchase?

Me either. I'm so proud of myself.

***

You can read more about my glitter addiction here:
Glitter is my Crack

and here: Confessions from a Glitter Addict

Happy June

2010-06-01T13:04:00.001-04:00

Happy June Dear Readers!

We just celebrated the unofficial start of summer.
I am a happy camper.

Welcome sunshine and long hot days.

Iced tea, lemonade, and popsicles
(made with 100% fruit juice, of course).

Hello to sundresses and sandals,
seasonal fruits and vegetables,

and collecting shells along the shore.

Most of all dear readers,
I wish you lots and lots of blooms.

Just be sure to stop and smell them too!

More Vegetarian Meals

2010-05-22T18:30:00.000-04:00

When I posted My Husband is a Vegan Freak, I promised to give you more vegetarian meal ideas. Here are 7 meals we've had recently:

Black Bean Cakes with Pineapple Salsa, Salad, and Strawberries

Homemade Veggie Pizza with Whole Wheat Crust

(his without cheese, mine with)

Dirty Rice (includes soy crumbles)

and Spicy Collards with Stewed Tomatoes

Vegan Sloppy Joes

(made with textured vegetable protein aka TVP)

Huge Salads with Sunflower Seeds and Beans

(mine also with Buffalo Mozzarella)

American Chop Suey (with soy crumbles)

Spicy Madras Curry with Tofu and Vegetables

over Whole Wheat Cous Cous
(tasted better than it looks, I promise!)

He cooks with recipes (his favorite source is www.vegcooking.com),while I rarely do. I call it creative cooking. I see what we have in our kitchen, may or may not look up a recipe for ideas, and then just go for it. In 8 years, I've only had to throw out 3 meals because they were not fit for consumption. Not a bad average, don't you think?

Tranquilista Interview

2010-05-18T19:51:00.001-04:00

I'm super excited to share that my interview with Kimberly Wilson (author of Tranquilista and Hip Tranquil Chick) is now live.

It's a free podcast that's about 20 minutes long. She asked me about nourishing rituals, stress and time management, finding your happy weight, emotional eating, body image, and more.

Click here to listen or to download the podcast. It's the perfect accompaniment for your next power walk!

Just Add Color

2010-05-17T11:30:00.000-04:00

Last month I introduced Amendi, my personal training client (and now friend!), to the joys of adult coloring books. If you now think I am crazy, please read on.

I've been a fan of coloring for many years now. Just like knitting, it's therapeutic and meditative. If you've ever seen children color, you know that they calm down and get into a trance-like state. It's the same for us adults. (And I can't just sit and watch t.v. I'm either coloring or sewing or embroidering or collaging or creating something.) I recommend coloring and other creative outlets to my nutrition & wellness coaching clients. It's an excellent form of stress management. Spending time out of our thinking and overanalyzing left brains and stepping into our creative right brains manages stress.

So after her personal training session, Amendi and I went on a field trip to the local Barnes and Noble. We found the adult coloring books in the children's section. (Go figure. I've normally found them in the art section.) She picked out two (and I'm proud that I restrained myself from purchasing any more.)

I recommend colored pencils (not markers) and being sure you have a little sharpener close by.

Here is the website where I order mine: Dover Publications
They have SO MANY books for colorists of all ages. It's quite unbelievable how many they have. You can also sign up for emails that give you access to free coloring pages each week. (Also great for those of you with children.)

Go ahead ladies. GET YOUR COLOR ON!

The Littlest Things

2010-05-05T19:46:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it's the littlest things that make me happy.

The monkey with the oversized ears

that was hanging out on my banana.

The sparkly heart and rainbow stickers

I bought for myself during a recent CVS trip.

(Who says $ can't buy happiness?)

The Wizard of Oz magnets my friend Darlene gave me

just because she knows it's my favorite movie.

Seeing my beloved Mini parked next to a huge car.

It never fails to make me laugh.

Be mindful of the littlest things in your life that bring you happiness.

My Husband is a Vegan Freak

2010-04-29T21:13:00.001-04:00

Three months after our BBQ wedding, my husband came home from work one day and announced that he was going to be vegan. Starting right then. (For those of you who may not know, vegan means eating NO animal products. No meat, no fish, no dairy, no eggs.) Why and how he came to this life-altering decision is a story for another time- one my incredibly private husband has not yet given me permission to write about- but the short version is for ethical reasons. The treatment of animals in our food supply is appalling.

His announcement was tough for me to handle, as I am a dietitian (and his wife!) and he did not consult with me before making this major decision. Plus, many of my nutrition clients have disordered eating. I've always promoted moderation and balance and the idea that "all foods fit." And let's face it, veganism is a form of extreme eating.

I've had friends say, "I could never marry a vegan." And my response is always, "I didn't." My friends, you just never know what you are getting into when you say, "I do."

In the almost five years since we got married, I've gotten used to cooking vegan dinners. But people are always asking (even my dietitian friends) what exactly do I make each night. So for all of you who've asked and for those who are just curious, this post is for you.

For the past several months, I've been taking photos of our dinners. I'll be posting photos of our vegetarian meals regularly. And warning: I am not a food stylist but I swear that these meals look better in person than in these photos!

Here are three of our favorite vegan meals:

Black Bean Taco Night

Veggie Burger Night

We love Dr. Prager's California Style veggie burgers. They don't contain any processed soy. The soy veggie burger we like best is Morning Star Farms Vegan Grillers. I cut up tons of fresh vegetables for toppings (even shaved carrots and avocado). And we always use baby spinach instead of lettuce in our house.

Asian Night

Edamame, vegetable gyoza with lots of dipping sauces,
and Asian veggies.

PS: I say "Vegan Freak" as a term of endearment. He made this decision based on compassion for other living beings. How could I not respect and support that?
PPS: I know people think vegans are freaks, because that is what we both thought before he became one!
PPPS: I'm not vegan but a year or so after his conversion, I became a ovopescolactovegetarian (that's dietitian talk and means I still eat eggs, seafood, and dairy.)
PPPS: What are the odds? My sister is married to a vegan freak too.

May Today...

2010-04-26T19:38:00.019-04:00

I recently came across this poem.
It moved me so much I had to share it with you.

It's a wonderful reminder of what I believe (but often forget.)

So to help me remember, I printed one copy for my datebook,

and one for my book of poems and quotes.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities
that are born of faith in yourself and others.

May you use the gifts that you have received,

and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones,

and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

I don't know who gets the credit for this inspirational poem.
If you know the author, please share.

Turning One

2010-04-17T00:01:00.002-04:00

My dear readers, we've reached a milestone! Nourish. Create. Bloom. is turning one today. Last year on April 17th, I wrote my very first blog post and here we now are- 365 days and 75 posts later.

It's been an eventful year. For sure, it's been the most challenging year of my life and I'm still in the midst of a lot of uncertainty. But I've made it thus far through this (in)fertility journey; mostly by being grateful for all that I do have, practicing extreme self-care, and learning (and relearning and relearning) to surrender to what is. It's been a year to put all of my self-help reading to the test. And I (toot, toot) am very proud of myself for maintaining my sanity. And growing.

It's also been another opportunity to learn who the Wonders are in my life. There's nothing like troubling times to make it crystal clear who is going to always be there by your side. When I started to lose faith, my Wonders reminded me they believed in me and my dreams. Often it was just what I needed to keep on keepin' on.

Now- major change in gears- a few random thoughts....

I'm planning some giveaways to those who comment on the blog. More details soon. I'd also like to know: What are your ideas for the next year of N.C.B.? What would you like to see more (or less) of?

Earlier this Spring N.C.B. got a new look. What do you think? (If you get N.C.B. email subscriptions delivered to your inbox, you can check out the new look by clicking on the post title -Turning One- above in your email.)

Several readers have asked, so more of you may be wondering. Yes, it is my own artwork that I post. If I've ever posted a collage that's really colorful (and usually quite busy), I made it. So, if you happen to need a personal and unique gift idea, let's talk.

I'm tickled pink to know people are reading the blog consistently. I have no idea who is reading, unless you leave a comment or tell me. I've had some surprises. My best friend from 7-9th grade (hi Kerry!) and I have reconnected through my posts and her thoughtful responses. And yikes! My first true love also found N.C.B. and sent me an unexpected email. That one freaked me about a bit. I know that when I write a post the world can read it, but I still kinda hoped ex-boyfriends weren't going to be reading my personal thoughts and struggles.

And finally, THANK YOU for reading, commenting, and sharing N.C.B. with your friends over the past year. I heart all of you.

Happy.

2010-04-03T19:13:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter. Happy Passover.

Joyful wishes going out to all you lovely Nourish. Create. Bloom. readers.

Infertility Etiquette

2010-03-30T19:16:00.001-04:00

Several people have told me they don't know what to say to comfort me (or other friends) who are struggling with infertility. Well, here's your answer. I came across this article today, and had to post it. It described my feelings and thoughts so well, I was almost moved to tears. Read on to get an insider's view into the infertility experience.

Infertility Etiquette
By Vita Alligood

Source: www.resolve.org

Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user's moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures, depending upon the treatment used.

A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.

Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.

Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.

Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.

These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.

Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.

Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?
Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.

People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.

Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.

Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"

There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.

IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the "sure thing" rather then risking their money on much lower odds.

IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.

IVF Raises Ethical Issues
Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.

Don't Offer Unsolicited Opinions If They Are Trying IVF
On the flip side of the coin, don't offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.
If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don't muddy the waters. IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don't yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can't offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.

A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.

Don't Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor's care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren't able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive. Here are a few of them:
Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low "normal form" sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls

Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an "expert" on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.

You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to "play doctor" with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.

Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.

Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.

Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."

I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.

Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.

Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.

Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.

Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.

Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.

Don't Push Adoption
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.

You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.

Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.

So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.

Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.

Remember Them on Mother's Day
With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.

Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.

Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.

Claire Was Here

2010-03-26T16:06:00.002-04:00

When I joined my artist's collective, I had the fortune to meet Claire Vohman.

She creatively swirls art and quotes- two things I love.

Yowza is a regular word in her vocabulary.

I'm going to start using it now too. How fun!

Claire is a real joy to be around, so I wanted to bring her joy to you.

Be sure to visit her website: www.clairewashere.com

and show her some support!

*For some crazy reason, some of her artwork (the three black pictures above) would only post on my blog in their negative version. Since I am not super dooper computer savvy, I couldn't figure out how to get them to show like her original work. I loved the sayings of these three and I just had to share them with you.

Sorry Claire for altering your work. I didn't mean too!

Welcome Spring!

2010-03-21T00:49:00.000-04:00

Today we celebrate the first day of Spring!

Welcome birds, butterflies, and buds bursting into bloom.

(How's that for alliteration?)

A Mid-March Walk

2010-03-18T23:31:00.006-04:00

On Monday my first IVF cycle was cancelled.

I was incredibly discouraged.

One setback seems to follow another.

I needed to take a walk.

There's nothing like a power walk to clear my head,

energize my body, and nourish my spirit.

I brought my camera along

and captured some early Spring colors.

I documented some other interesting sights
from my neighborhood as well.

(Who would have guessed 2 aqua cars live
within a mile radius of my home?)

Spring is almost here.

And with it hope for new beginnings.

New creations. New blooms.

There's always next month.

I'll keep walking until it gets here.

Thank You

2010-03-17T00:04:00.004-04:00

Here's a huge THANK YOU to special people who've made my life sparkle brighter in the past few weeks. In no particular order:

Last week my crafty soul sister, Emily, wrote a beautiful piece about me and my art on her blog, www.eclairecreations.com. She has really nourished my creativity while I've lived in Atlanta. I will for sure have Emily and Crafty Chick Night withdrawal when Brian and I move in several months.

I was incredibly honored to be interviewed on 2/25 by the Hip Tranquil Chick herself, Kimberly Wilson. She will be posting the interview as a podcast on her blog, Tranquility du Jour, sometime this Spring. I will be sure to pass along a link when it's ready. Kristen Leigh introduced me to Kimberly and her work. Thanks girl!

My parents have been generous with their love and support beyond my wildest expectations. I am forever grateful.

My mother-in-law, Gwendolyn Williams, has commandeered virtually everyone she knows to whisper fertile prayers for me into God's ear. Thank you Miss Gwen!

Three people support me everyday in person or on the phone: Marilee, Julia, and Brian. I am so blessed.

And finally- to my friends who email me, write to me, call me, pray for me to reach my motherhood dreams, and leave the sweetest comments on my blog and facebook page- your kind words and love lift me higher.

Brighten Your World

2010-03-12T13:19:00.002-05:00

I recently discovered artist Rachel Awes.

I just love her work and think you will too.

Her work is inspirational, whimsical, and colorful

and makes my heart happy.

Be sure to visit her blog: www.allididwaslisten.blogspot.com

and her etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/rachelawes

Don't her paintings and quotes brighten your world?

Everything Will Be Okay

2010-03-10T16:37:00.001-05:00

It was a rainy night several months ago, when my friend, Kristen, and I stumbled upon this sign. If you've been following this blog for any length of time you know just how much I love finding positive reminders in unexpected places. And they always seem to come just when I need them most. So serendipitous! In case you need a reminder too, here it is:

Click, Click

2010-03-04T11:39:00.003-05:00

A perfect way to start the day.

Tea in my ruby slippers mug
and a reminder that my power is within me.

I just need to click, click (or sip, sip.)

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T00:01:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day isn't just for those in romantic relationships.

It's a day to remind everyone you love that you are so happy they are in your life.

I had a lot of fun making these Valentines.

I sent them to several special friends and family members

so they don't forget how much I love them.

I also mailed them to my frequent blog commenters, because I just LOVE reading your thoughtful responses. (If you frequently comment and didn't get a Valentine, be sure to email me your mailing address so you can included in special gifts in the future. If you are a loyal reader but do not comment, be aware that I only know who is reading by who leaves comments.)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

An update. (And yes, even more glitter.)

2010-02-08T12:22:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since my last post. Since then, I've been focusing on taking extremely good care of myself. Lots of yoga, meditation, visualization, tea, acupuncture, and even wheat grass shots! I'll do just about anything to become a fertile Myrtle.

Here's something else I've been up to:

Getting crafty is always nourishing to my soul. And I love making Valentines. My two favorite colors are red and pink AND I have an excuse to use hearts with abandon, be extra girly, and use glitter. (Although I'm pretty much doing that the other 364 days of the year too.)

This year making Valentines was even more special as my sorority sister, Tracy Duncan, mailed me the above glitter heart set. It was an unexpected gift in the mail, and it brightened my world.

(Thank you Tracy. Delta love and all of mine too.)

You'll have to come back on February 14th to see my Valentine's creations! Although, some of you just might be getting one in the mail.

Keep Your Chin Up

2010-01-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

I love quotes, and the following three recently found their way to me during a time of grief and healing. It amazes me how the Universe communicates with each of us all the time; we just need to be listening for the messages. I've posted these quotes on the desktop of my computer, under the file name Keep Your Chin Up. I've also printed them out and pasted them in my datebook, so I can read them often and absorb their messages. They've given me some peace of mind, and my hope is that they will provide you with the same.

This first quote found it's way to me via a friend's Facebook post. (Thanks Val. I felt like you posted this just for me.)
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose....everything that is happening is supposed to be happening.

This next quote was pasted (of all places!) on the wall of the ladies room at a restaurant.
Sometimes in order to move forward, you need to let go.

And this final quote was written in a book of quotes I've been keeping.
Happiness grows in direct proportion to your acceptance.

Please send me quotes that have helped you during difficult times. Your post might be the words that someone needs to hear, right at that very moment.

the good heARTed

2010-01-11T13:05:00.002-05:00

I feel so fortunate to be featured on the good heARTed website. It's a community of art and craft run by the very talented artist and web designer Heather L. Murphy. Heather has hand-selected fine artists, photographers, and crafters that all have good hearts.

You can check out my good heARTed page by clicking here!

And, if you are looking for more inspiration and creativity, be sure to visit Heather's beautiful blog.

Highs and Lows of 2009

2009-12-30T23:07:00.001-05:00

This year had a lot of ups and downs. In January, Obama was elected as President. I watched the historic inauguration with goosebumps while I wrote a letter to my future biracial child. She will never know a world where a black person wasn't President. We had been trying to conceive for 4 months by then and I believed 2009 would be the year she arrived.

In April, Nourish. Create. Bloom. came to life. It has been such a joy to write blog posts and read the comments from my readers. Thank you loyal followers! Your comments mean so much to me.

Later in April, I felt the most incredible joy when I got pregnant for the first time ever! I'd been waiting for this moment for years and it was finally here! It was especially wonderful because my sister, Marilee, got pregnant two weeks before me. I was so excited to share this life experience with her just like we had planned when we were little girls. We were certain she was having a boy and I was having a girl. That day, I went out and bought What to Expect When You're Expecting and a gift book for my sister and her husband. I also bought our child her first book ever; You Are My Wish Come True.

In May, my joy ended. After continued bleeding and uncertainty, my husband and I learned the baby was stuck in my fallopian tube. The pregnancy couldn't progress without killing me in the process. In the ER I received a shot that ended my first pregnancy. Sadness enveloped me. This blog became a way for me to voice my grief, find support, and contemplate hope.

The rest of 2009 was an off-and-on-again struggle. Tears came when I passed the baby section in Target. A few weeks ago, when in Borders, I had move to another section when a baby's cry prompted me to cry myself.

On December 16th, my sister had a beautiful and healthy baby boy. During my sister's pregnancy I struggled with separating her joy from my loss. The timing of our conceptions at first seemed perfect but turned out to be painful. I was afraid that when I first met her son, I would burst into tears. But when I held him, all I could think of was the miracle that he is. In that moment, holding that little chirping bundle of joy, my own sadness left me.

My due date was to be December 31st. But as it turns out, 2009 wasn't my year to become a mama. And despite some devastating news from the doctor today, I still have a little hope that 2010 is the year my wish will come true.

Kathianne's AJC Quote on Holiday Stress

2009-12-28T17:57:00.001-05:00

Note: Unfortunately, the article printed on December 24th. I was out of town for the holidays, so I had someone buy the paper on the 22nd (the day the article was supposed to be printed). Since I couldn't track down an actual newspaper, I bought the archive copy, and cut and pasted my quotes here. I know it doesn't look incredibly professional this way, but I'm just not going to stress about it.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The (GA)

December 24, 2009
Section: Living
Edition: Main; The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Page: D1

Avoid holiday stress overload
Keeping perspective is key, experts say.
Take time for yourself during the season's crush of commitments.
Nedra Rhone, Staff

The holidays are generally a happy time of year, but they can also be a time of great stress. Social engagements, family visits, travel and high expectations can all bring on feelings of increased pressure. Some stress is, of course, good for you.

"It is important for us to have stress in our lives ... but when it is extended stress, it starts to wear on the body," said Kathianne Sellers Williams, wellness coach at Cafe Physique. "The average person does not manage stress at all, so the holidays can really emphasize how out of balance people are."

Add to that the climate of economic uncertainty and the scene is set for a meltdown. We asked some of Atlanta's top health and wellness experts to give a few tips for managing stress this season.

Williams, wellness coach, Cafe Physique

"What I've been seeing with my clients is they have increased stress because there is more to do. There are more demands on their time. A lot of people have a hard time saying no," Williams said. It is important for people to think about fitting nourishing activities or stress relievers into their daily life, she said. "In general, there are things you can do to manage your baseline stress. You can plan to do a yoga class or do some creative activities such as writing in a journal. It could be a ritual of sitting down and having a cup of tea while reading the paper," Williams said.

You also want to have a plan for breakthrough stress, Williams said, those unplanned moments that occur at work or while waiting in line at the post office. Practicing deep breathing or removing yourself from the situation to go get a cup of tea can make things better, she said.

Another important aspect of managing stress is getting adequate sleep. "Not getting enough sleep just compounds how anxious or stressed or depressed people feel," Williams said. Also make time to evaluate your values in life. "Look at a typical day and write down what you do all day and just look at it. Some people are shocked. They can't believe how much time they spend watching TV. The awareness phase is crucial. Then from there ask yourself the tough questions," she said.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-20T00:54:00.003-05:00

Here are some holiday photos to get you in the spirit!

I took them At The Collective, the artists' cooperative

where I sell my artwork.

Greg from Forrester's Greenhouse, did an amazing job with these decorations.

I love this glitter reindeer and vintage Santa!

Just one of the ornaments I made this year.

Each year I make a few (and break a few.)

...and Happy Hanuakkah.

I hope your holiday season is filled with love and laughter!

7 Tips for Less Stress This Holiday Season

2009-12-11T16:51:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was interviewed by a reporter for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. She's writing an article on holiday stress and how to manage it. I'll be sure to post the article when it comes out, but wanted to pass along my tips now since the print date isn't until 12/22/09.

I ask each of my wellness coaching clients how they manage stress. Most give me a blank stare. But here's the reality: if you don't have positive stress coping skills, you will always find some way to cope, and it might just be negative (for example: eating too much or too little, drinking alcohol, smoking, over-exercising, excessive shopping, or watching too much t.v.)

When the holidays hit- and there are holiday cards to send, extra food to make, presents to buy, too many social engagements, and more time spent with family- already stressed people are even more overwhelmed. I encourage all my clients to incorporate nourishing rituals (stress relievers that fill your spirit and calm your mind) into their daily lives. Nourishing rituals will lower your everyday stress levels and help you to feel balanced and centered.

Here are a 6 additional tips:

Use time waiting in line (at the post office, at the mall) to practice deep breathing. Count slowly to four with each inhale and exhale. And feel like a stress management star because you are feeling calm while all the other people in line are feeling agitated!
Break holiday traditions that seem out-dated. Don't continue with traditions you dread. Create new traditions that honor your current financial situation and current values.
Simplify your holiday meals and decorations. Do what feels right for you.
Simplify your gift giving: Consider writing a love letter, a poem, a list of reasons why you love the person, or a list of your favorite memories together. Make a handmade ornament or frame a favorite photo of the two of you together. (My best friend and her husband only exchange ornaments each year for Christmas. It's a low stress tradition but it's super meaningful each year when they decorate their tree.)
Say no. It's okay to turn down invitations to social events. Just say you have another obligation (which happens to be an obligation to your self-care.)
Write down your blessings. I am always amazed at the healing (and calming) power of listing all the people, things, and events I'm thankful to have in my life. Nothing can shift your energy like a gratitude list.

Best wishes for a happy and stress-less holiday season!

Addendum: Click here for the article.

Back to Perky

2009-12-08T23:59:00.004-05:00

I haven't been feeling like my usual perky self lately,
so I've decided to post photos of things that make me happy.

Marching Bands

School Spirit!

Bright Batches of Color

Colored Pencils (and Adult Coloring Books!)

Art in Unexpected Places

& Time Spent in Big Cities

What makes you happy?

Saved by a Pea

2009-12-05T21:36:00.014-05:00

Last week I ran into a new friend who just started a business. This former lawyer recently made a dramatic career change. She's selling peas! Not just any peas, but Peas for Prosperity.

I found the bit of history she shared fascinating and think you might too. So here's a bit of nourishment for your mind:

According to Southern tradition, eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will bring good luck and prosperity in the coming year. The tradition began during the Civil War, when General William T. Sherman and his troops marched from Atlanta to Savannah, destroying everything in their wake. Everything EXCEPT the black-eyed peas.

The troops believed that cattle, not people, were the only ones who ate black-eyed peas. After the war, black-eyed peas were the main source of food in the South. The peas saved thousands from starvation and gave the South a second chance. Since New Year's Day of 1866, the peas still represent regrowth.

This month, Christy started Peas for Prosperity. A dollar from each bag of black-eyed peas sold will be donated to charities dedicated to helping people who need a second chance in life. Visit her website to read her candid and inspiring personal story.

Here I am, purchasing my bags of Peas for Prosperity. I think they'll make unique and meaningful hostess gifts. And, I hold the distinct honor of being Christy's first customer!

On a final note: black-eyed peas are nutrition all-stars! They're high in fiber and protein, and also good sources of folic acid, iron, and phytonutrients. The Peas for Prosperity website has recipes on how to incorporate black-eyed peas into your diet.

Road Side Market

2009-11-18T16:29:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, while driving to North Carolina's Outer Banks, my husband and I stumbled upon this road side market. I love all farmer's markets, but this one was special.

Look at the amazing way they display their produce!

Who doesn't want to buy a sand pail filled with apples or tomatoes?

Everything looked so pretty, I ran back to the car to get my camera.

It's easy to "eat a rainbow" when shopping at a farmer's market.

You can tell a lot about an area by what they choose to preserve.

Yes, that does say Tequila Jelly and Georgia Moonshine Jelly.

I've never heard of Purple Sweet Potato Butter before, but it sure sounds interesting.

You know you're in The South when Watermelon Rind Pickles are on the shelf.

Too bad this market isn't closer to our home. I would be there weekly for sure!

Confessions from a Glitter Addict

2009-11-15T18:57:00.003-05:00

On Saturday a friend texted me this quote from Drew Barrymore: "You know you're putting a good thing out into the universe when you put on glitter." My philosophy exactly Drew! If only I could convince my husband. He can't seem to leave the house without some stray glitter (from my crafty projects) sticking to him. Personally, I think if you have to leave the house with something stuck to you, glitter isn't a bad way to go. Cat hair would be much worse.

Speaking of my glitter addiction, my sister has been enabling me. She recently purchased me the complete Martha Stewart glitter set. Now I have two drawers full of glitter. Can you really ever have too much glitter? I think not.

You should have seen my eyes light up when I opened this gift! I put the glitter to use right away on her baby shower invitations.

My First Art Show

2009-11-09T22:50:00.000-05:00

This past Friday was a first for me. My first ever art show! I recently joined an artist's cooperative, At The Collective, where the event was held. As you can see from the photos, I heart collage.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude at all the friends who came out to support me. So many people came and they made the night incredibly special for me. One I won't soon forget.

Below is my artist's bio:

Kathianne Sellers Williams is a self-taught artist who specializes in mixed media collage. Her work is influenced by things that bring her joy and inspiration: flowers and birds, words and quotes, fruits and vegetables, vintage finds, handmade gifts, hand-written letters, bright colors, and all things that sparkle.

Kathianne’s pieces include recycled materials of all kinds. This includes wrapping paper, stationery, magazine images, travel brochures, or pages from old books as well as new fine papers from all over the world. Vintage stationery, dating from the 1930’s to 1970’s and inherited from her grandmother, is often incorporated into the collages. You may find buttons, rhinestones, shells, and more. “I use whatever I come across that inspires me and can be glued down,” says the artist.

The collages are time and labor intensive. Because of the extreme level of detail, you may notice something different with each observation.

“Creating collages nourishes my spirit” says Kathianne. “I feel at peace when I am cutting out images, gluing them together, and adding the finishing details. The process of creating allows me to express myself but simultaneously connects me to something bigger than myself.”

Kathianne currently resides in Atlanta and also works as dietitian and wellness coach. You can learn more about her and her work at www.NourishCreateBloom.com

Ahead of His Time

2009-10-28T20:22:00.003-04:00

When I was younger, I didn't appreciate that my father had two large gardens in which he grew most of the vegetables that nourished my family. I was too busy complaining about having to weed the onion patch to be thankful. We also had an apricot tree and two apple trees. Ugh, how I hated picking up those rotten apples that fell from the tree. I remember that my sister, father, and I would take the apples to an Amish farm where they ran the apples through a press to make homemade apple cider. At harvest time, everything would be apples: apple butter, applesauce, apple cider, dried apples, and apple fritters. Now I'd do just about anything to get my hands on fresh apple cider and homegrown tomatoes.

Another one of my chores was to empty the compost bin. We had a plastic bin next to the sink (nothing fancy like today's models, it was just a large margarine container) and used it to collect banana peels, apple skins, and other food wastes. Anytime that bin was filled, day or night, it was my job to run it out to the edge of the yard, next to the garden, and dump it into the compost pile. And while I complained about having to do that in the winter, or in the dark, I did make sure to get my picture taken next to it before my parents moved from my childhood home to the retirement community.

I used to tell Dad he was embarrassing because he was so old-fashioned. But maybe, I'm starting to think, he was ahead of his time. He was composting, collecting rain water, growing his own food, and eating locally before it was even popular. I don't think he wasn't doing it because it was hip to be green, or because it was good for the environment. Rather, it was a way to feed his family and save money while doing it. Gardening was also his exercise and his therapy (which I'm sure he needed after having 6 kids.)

I'm writing this post to thank my father. There were a lot of great lessons that he taught me, and some of them I am just fully appreciating now. Of course, I'll have to print this and mail it to him. While he was ahead of his time on the above issues, he never did master computers and has never been on the internet.

Love Your Body Day

2009-10-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

Today is the 12th annual Love Your Body Day sponsored by the National Organization for Women Foundation. According to the NOW Foundation's website, "this campaign is a giant shout out to the fashion, beauty, diet and advertising industries: No more fake images! Show us real women, diverse women, strong women, bold women. And to the women and girls who are targeted by messages telling them that the key to success and happiness is manufactured beauty, we say: It's okay to "Be You" -- the true you is beautiful."

So in honor of Love Your Body Day, I challenge you to take a moment to celebrate your body and appreciate all it does for you each day. It may not be the "ideal" weight or free of blemishes, but it carries your spirit through each day of your life all the same. It allows you to hug and be held, kiss and dance, smile and shout, hear laughter, and see tomorrow's sunrise.

So, I thank you Body. I love you. I celebrate all you do for me. And for today, I'll even love your pimples and butt dimples. But to be completely honest Body, it's not going to be easy loving those parts of you for the next 364 days until Love Your Body Day 2010. But I promise to keep at it.

Yummy Recipe, Funny Quote

2009-10-19T23:58:00.000-04:00

I had an impromptu lunch with my friend Shellie yesterday. The salad she served was so yummy (and nutritious!), I just had to share it with you. I don't have the exact recipe, just a list of the ingredients. It seems so easy to whip together. I suggest you add more of what you like and less of what you don't. Be creative- it will taste great!

Brown Rice Salad (can be served cold or warm)

Directions: Mix together the following ingredients:

Cooked brown rice (main ingredient, use more of this)

Black beans

Cherry or grape tomatoes

Feta Cheese

Celery

Green onions

Lowfat italian dressing (go easy here, you can always add more later if needed)

Cilantro (just a bit)

As we were eating lunch, I asked Shellie if she saw the Oprah interview with Mike Tyson.

"No," she said, "I didn't like what Oprah was wearing, so I changed the channel to Ellen. And I did like her outfit."

What an interesting way to decide whether to watch a show! It NEVER crossed my mind before.

No Fat Talk

2009-10-18T12:58:00.002-04:00

Are you aware of your self-talk and how you converse with others about weight and appearance? Are your comments empowering and uplifting or discouraging and demeaning?

If you frequently participate in "fat talk" about yourself or others, consider making a change. Remember that you are not only affecting your self-esteem, but influencing the little girls and teens who hear you.

In honor of Fat Talk Free Week (October 19th-23rd) I am posting a link to this AMAZING, powerful, must-see 3 minute video: CLICK HERE

I'm so proud of my sorority, Delta Delta Delta, by making a difference with this video and other empowering body image education.

Here's to Gold Friends

2009-10-16T12:33:00.013-04:00

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold. -Girl Scout song, from my scounting days in the 80's.

Yikes! It has been a while since my last post. Here's my excuse: I've been traveling. In the last few weeks I've been to Minneapolis and Chicago. At each stop I've been fortunate to visit with gold friends.

Gold friends are friends you've had for years. You don't get to see them everyday and may only communicate a few times a year. But when you do get together, it's as if no time has passed. They celebrate your life with you, even though it's from afar.

Thanks to all my gold friends. You know who you are. You nourish my soul. And you mean the world to me.

*These photos are of just some of the gold friends I reconnected with recently. My gratitude to all of you who went out of your way to see me on my journeys.

A Nourishing Gift

2009-10-05T13:04:00.015-04:00

I told guests at my birthday tea party that their presence was my present, but several friends brought me goodies anyway. (Which, I must admit, was an unexpected treat!)

My new friend Patti gave me a nourishing gift. I was so touched, I wanted to share it with you, my readers.

On September 24th, she brought over a homemade 3-course vegan dinner for my husband and me. It was wonderful! What made this gift so meaningful was that she shared of herself- her time, her talents, and her love of cooking.

The gift giving season is right around the corner. I challenge you this year to reflect on how you can give of yourself to those that you love.

______________

You can read more about the dinner details on Patti's blog, Anatomy of a Dinner Party. (If you read her post, I have to add a sentence in my defense. After she offered the gift, I told her my husband was vegan, and told her I would give her an out since she didn't know that originally. Often, his being vegan scares people away from inviting us over for dinner. But, Patti took on the challenge and did an incredible job!)

Color Yourself Healthy

2009-10-02T11:55:00.008-04:00

In order to be healthy, you need to eat a rainbow! No, I'm talking about Skittles. I'm talking about fruits and vegetables! In my last post, I appealed to your vanity. Now I'm going to appeal to your desire to be your healthiest self.

You may not know that with fruits and vegetables, each color is associated with certain nutrients that have specific functions in the body.

Blue/Purple: important for urinary tract health, memory function, healthy aging, and a lower risk of some cancers

Green: aid in vision health and strong bones and teeth

White: assist in heart health and maintaining healthy cholesterol levels

Yellow/Orange: needed for heart health, vision health, and a healthy immune system

Red: important for heart health, memory function and urinary tract health

An added bonus is that eating plants rich in fruits and vegetables may reduce the risk of some types of cancer and other chronic diseases.

So, if you are not nourishing yourself with all of the colors, how can your body function optimally? This week notice how many fruits and vegetables you are eating (goal is 2 cups of fruit and 3 cups of veggies) and the colors you consume.

Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables

2009-09-28T14:59:00.005-04:00

One of the best things you can do to nourish your body is eat more fruits and vegetables!

As a dietitian, I see a lot of food logs. One of the most common suggestions I make to my clients is to eat more fruits and vegetables. (In fact, in the last year, I can think of only 2 people whose food logs I reviewed that were eating sufficient amounts of them.)

Since I don't want to sound like your mother, I am going to appeal to your vanity. Fruits and veggies keep you beautiful! They are chocked full of antioxidants that act as anti-aging agents. They have nutrients that nourish your skin, hair, and nails. And, their low calorie and high fiber content are important for maintaining a healthy weight (or losing weight, if needed.)

I encourage my clients to eat at least 2 cups of fruit a day and at least 3 cups of veggies.

So eat your fruits and veggies ladies! Fresh or frozen, it doesn't matter. Just eat them!

(Stay posted, since this topic is so important to your well-being, I'll be writing more.)

Let's Get Crafty: Magazine Stationery

2009-09-25T13:06:00.013-04:00

This month was my turn to host Crafty Chick Night. I heart stationery. I also love using recycled materials when crafting, so I choose to make magazine envelopes and coordinating notecards as our project.

Twelve chicks showed up for a night of wine, food, laughs, and creativity.

How can you not be inspired to make your own after seeing

these amazing magazine envelopes made by my fellow crafty chicks?

Materials needed:

1. Magazine(s) (or you can use any kind of paper: wrapping, decorative, etc.)

2. Card stock (buy recycled!)

3. Scissors

4. Glue Stick

5. Envelope template (Steam open an envelope to use as your template. I recommend starting with a small one and go bigger as you get more comfortable).

6. Label paper (to add to the front of the envelope so you can write- and see- a name or address).

Directions:

1. Put your envelope template (the now steam-opened envelope) onto a magazine page. Trace around the edges.

2. Cut it out.

3. Fold the shape back into an envelope. (Sides go in first, then the bottom flap over them.)

4. Glue the bottom flap to the sides with the glue stick. (Be sure not to glue your envelope shut. I recommend putting your hand into envelope to puff it open and then let it dry like that- hand removed, of course.

5. Cut card stock to desired size to fit into envelope and decorate!

Here's Emily, Crafty Chick Night founder and coordinator, showing off her creations.

More to the Story

2009-09-18T14:20:00.008-04:00

I've written about my pregnancy loss before, but I have not told you the whole story. Until now. I chose not to wait to tell people about my pregnancy, but my sister did. I wanted to respect her desire to tell the world on her own timeline.

My sister (who is almost a year and a half older than me) called in March to tell me she was unexpectedly, although joyfully, pregnant. It was tough news to handle, since I'd been trying for 5 unsuccessful months by then. Perhaps it was selfish of me to feel that way, but feel that way I did. As it turns out, I didn't have too long to worry about that. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later. We were both so excited to be having babies at the same time! I had visions of a double baby shower, play dates together, and future vacations with the children.

We both experienced early bleeding in the beginning of our pregnancies. We had a lot of worried calls to each other and we both ended up having ultrasounds on the very same day. Our ultrasounds were 1 hour apart from each other; hers in Philly and mine in Atlanta. She called after hers to tell me they heard the heartbeat. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to report happy news.

Fast forward 6 months to my trip last week to visit my family, including my sister. She is now very much showing. She looks adorable pregnant. Absolutely adorable. And while I am happy for her, her happiness is also linked to my pain. She is a visual reminder of what I lost.

It didn't bother me when my best friend got pregnant unexpectedly for the 3rd time or when my good friend here in Atlanta got pregnant unexpectedly, both while I was trying. But a relationship with a sister is different. It's very strong but it's also complicated. I'm sure this will make us even closer at some point in the future. I'm sure that I will be able to look back one day, after I have my baby and be fine with all of this. I will know that this pain has made me stronger and more compassionate. I will hold my daughter in my arms and know she was worth the long wait. But right now, as I make 30 invitations for my sister's baby shower, I'm fully aware that I am not there yet.

Abundance and Gratitude

2009-09-15T19:36:00.006-04:00

Sorry I haven't written a post in a while. I was out of town for 10 days. I'll be posting about my travels in the next few days. In the meantime, here is a bit of inspiration: a few quotes from Eckhart Tolle and some art (from me!)

The foundation for all abundance: recognize the good that is already around you.

Both abundance and scarcity are inner states that manifest as your reality.

Gratitude is it's own energy field. It changes the way you experience life. If you want to change your life bring gratitude to it.

A Tea Party

2009-09-03T13:07:00.012-04:00

This past Tuesday was my 35th birthday.

I decided to celebrate by hosting a tea party. I included a bunch of things that nourish me:

Healthy snacks prepared with love along with some sweet treats

Tea, of course!

The china tea sets I've inherited from my great aunt, my grandmother, and my mother

(I had each guest pick their own cup)

Flowers and pretty glassware

And dear friends, new and old.

My husband even came home from work early to surprise me and crashed the party. He gave me a pink Wizard of Oz mug with Ruby Slippers on the front. It says, "Click Your Heels and Get Carried Away."

It's the perfect gift.

It was a wonderful celebration and a great birthday.

Dream Big!

2009-08-26T21:27:00.001-04:00

Besides becoming a mama, these are 3 of my biggest dreams. I'm putting these out there to the Universe. Who knows who could be reading this that could help to make my dreams come true!

Dream #1. Be a guest on the Oprah Show. My dream is to be an expert guest, talking about my best selling book. (Plus, after months and months of trying to attend the show, I've decided it is easier for me to write a best selling book and then get on the show as a guest than it is to get audience tickets.) Ok, anyone out there reading this that knows the big O? Anyone out there who loves my blog and knows a book agent or publisher? Hook a girl up. Pleeeeease?

Dream #2. Be on a show like Dancing with the Stars. Getting paid to be on t.v., dance for hours each week, and wear those glamorous sparkly costumes? Are you kidding? I'm not sure what could possibly be better. Seriously. That is as close to heaven on earth as I could possibly get.

Dream #3. Be a professional cheerleader. It's sad for me to write this one, because most likely it's just not going to happen. (You may be thinking: AND LIKE THE OTHER TWO ARE??? Well, you just never do know. Don't rain on my parade.) Now, I'm almost 35. I think the oldest cheerleader in professional cheerleading history was 36 (yes, I've looked it up before). Plus, I just got my long locks cut super short and I'm an A cup.

I've always been in love with dancing and cheerleading, but my career in those fields got sidetracked by a track scholarship. Just watching the dance team in college turned my brown eyes green with envy. I did try out for the Patriots Cheerleading Squad, once when I was 26 and once when I was 32. I got to the final round of the preliminary day that second time (which isn't too shabby because I was at least 10 years older than most of the girls and I wasn't on the dance team in college.) When I came home from the tryouts, I cried to my husband, "I'll never get to dance around with pom poms again!" Well, maybe not.

What are your big dreams? I would love to hear about them!

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

2009-08-24T00:17:00.002-04:00

It's important to nourish yourself in fun ways. Small and seemingly silly ways that you may think do not matter. But they do.

Here's a little suggestion: step out onto the wild side and give your toenails some zip. Stripes, flowers, glitter, rhinestones, whatever tickles your fancy. See if that doesn't give you some extra pep in your step. Go ahead, I dare you.

It's kinda like wearing super sexy underwear or getting a Brazilian bikini wax. It's like you have a little secret that makes you a tigress. Reeaarr! (Insert cat claw here).

Good Morning World. How Can I Be of Service?

2009-08-20T14:27:00.010-04:00

It seems to me, we all need reminders that we are more than enough, we have more than enough, and we all have something unique and worthwhile to contribute to this world.

I love this sign from Ashley Brooke Inzer on 31 Experiment, because it sums all that up in a cute and quick mantra. Imagine the positive energy you would create if this quote was the very first thing you saw every morning?

And here's the super-douper exciting news: If you click here, you can go right to Ashley's blog entry and download this sign in black/red or blue/yellow for free! Put it near your bed or on your bathroom mirror (right next to your mirror sign, of course) to transform your thoughts and your world.

Don't Feed Your Inner Critic

2009-08-17T16:54:00.014-04:00

I had the wonderful opportunity to be quoted in a WebMD article today. As soon as the writer emailed me the link, I skimmed over everyone else's words until I got to mine. Goodness gracious, is that what I really said? All these years of schooling! I thought I had a better command of the English language.

I quickly emailed Miranda, the writer. Here's our email exchange:

Me: Thanks Miranda. (Did I really say that many reallys in my last quote?) Yikes!! : )

Miranda: My tape recorder says so. : )

Me: Goodness gracious! That's something I can work on for the next interview!

Miranda: I think you may be too hard on yourself- it didn't jump out at me. You were fine!

Me: Ok good. I choose to listen to your words instead of my inner critic. After all, you're the professional writer!

Miranda: Yes, and inner critics are notoriously 1) ruthless and 2) wrong.

Me: You're the best! You've officially shut up the inner critic. Well, for today.

Here's a link to the article:

Exercise and Weight Loss: 5 Truths Experts Weight In On How Much Exercise Affects Weight Loss and Weight Maintenance.

Let's Get Crafty: Repurposed Plastic Bottle Vases

2009-08-12T00:31:00.011-04:00

I cannot take the credit for this creation. My new friend, Emily, was kind enough to invite me to her Crafty Chicks Night last week. Repurposing plastic bottles into colorful vases was the project. (I cannot express in words how excited I am to be involved in a monthly gathering of women and crafts. I'm actually giddy.) And the added bonus? This project uses mostly recycled materials. Go Earth!

The directions for the original project were from a fancy magazine, but they turned out to be more than a bit messy and involved mixing glue and water. Why bother? I say, when my trusty Modge Podge will do the job and keep things neat?

So, here are the no-fail directions that even the craft-challenged can master.

Supplies:

1. Plastic bottle

2. Modge Podge (found at any craft store) or similar glue.

3. Glue brush

4. Newspaper cut into strips or torn into pieces

5. Acrylic paint

6. Paint brush (or rinse your glue brush and reuse. That's what I did.)

1. Find a plastic bottle that has a cool shape. Clean it well.

2. Using a glue brush, paint some Modge Podge glue onto your plastic bottle. Cover the glue spot with newspaper. Repeat until the entire bottle is covered with newspaper.

3. Add a second layer of newspaper and Modge Podge. Don't worry about wrinkles in the paper. They actually add texture and interest to your vase.

4. Paint with acrylic paint. (I found that paint in a tube worked much better than paint in a jar.)

5. Seal with 2 more coats of Modge Podge and you're done

Here's me working on the first layer of newspaper. Tell me I don't look beyond excited!

Journal Entry Dated 8/6/09

2009-08-11T23:59:00.011-04:00

Journal Entry 8/6/09 3:47pm (Unabridged version.)

On a lounger by the pool. I really have a wonderful life. I can't complain. I commit to not complaining anymore and celebrating all that I am and all that I have. It's enough. (Except for the kid thing. It's enough for now, but I would really like to be blessed with an angel and I think that's in the cards.) I have a wonderful and loving husband, I love my profession and finally found a way to combine my artistic self with my nutrition self. I'm healthy, just found a great hairdresser, and business is picking up. And, I still have time to sit by the pool and catch rays, take naps, be crafty, and make healthy dinners for Brian. Life is good. All is well. I relax and let go. I trust the Universe will provide (a baby) on it's own timeline, not mine. [deep breaths here] Okay, I need to read this to myself a few times a day or at least when I get caught up in the clutter of life and forget this feeling right now. That all is well in my world. I choose happy. I choose grateful.

A Nourishing Newspaper Quote

2009-08-09T00:09:00.015-04:00

Friday turned out to be a big day. I said "yes" to a lunch and movie invitation even though I was tired and cranky. As it turns out, I'm immensely glad I went.

Who would have guessed the social reporter from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution would be there? Who would have guessed she would quote me? And, who would guess my photo would be on the front page of the newspaper the following day? Crazy, huh?

Here's the article:

Or click here to read the online version (no picture though)

And here's my nourishing quote (which was bolded! I can't hide my excitement!)

You just have to see the movie, Julie and Julia, my friends. It humorously weaves together the stories of Julia Child and foodie blogger Julie Powell. People in the theater clapped at the end. It was that good.

Some of the inspirational themes from the movie include:

Be persistent and don't give up on your dreams and goals- especially in the face of challenges and rejection.
Don't take the first "no" as your answer. (This was a favorite quote of my father too.)
Being yourself is a key to success.
Food is meant to be savored and enjoyed. (And I might add: not micromanaged or feared.)
Food is a way to show love for those you cook for. Including yourself.
Take the time to prepare meals and take time to eat them.
Be connected with your food.

My view at the lunch table:

And here's me at lunch on Friday with my friend, Laura Scholz.

Let's Get Crafty: Scale & Mirror Signs

2009-08-02T21:47:00.013-04:00

Last week I hosted a craft day with two friends and fellow bloggers, Laura and Angela. We made mirror and scale signs.

What are those, you ask? Well, they're signs you post on your mirror or scale to remind you that you're fabulous. If you are like most women I know, you could benefit from a positive affirmation or two. Especially when you're looking in the mirror sans makeup or when you're hopping on the scale.

Even at 34, my main body image issue is blemished skin. So, the sign I made for my mirror reminds me to put those pimples in perspective.

I made the scale sign below for one of my nutrition & wellness coaching clients. Even though I recommend she weigh herself no more than once a week, she does it more frequently. And, like most of my clients, the number on the scale dictates how she then feels about herself. (Don't worry, we're working on changing that. )

To make your own sign:

1. Cut cover or card stock to desired size. (The signs I made are 3" x 3")

2. Type and print your affirmation. Have fun with fonts. Here are a few of my favorites:

-You look fabulous when you feel fabulous.

-Don't let a number dictate how you feel.

-Girl, you are beautiful when you smile.

-Your weight has nothing to do with your worth.

-One year from now, you won't remember this pimple.

3. Decorate your sign and add your positive affirmation.

4. If you want to laminate your sign, use heat and seal laminating pages. (Find them in office supply stores). These work well with irons (you don't need a laminating machine) but be sure to use the included paper pouch to protect your iron.

5. Trim excess laminate from your sign.

6. If you want to add glitter, rhinestones, or other accents, glue these on after you laminate your sign. Laminating doesn't work so well when the project gets too thick.

To hang your sign: you can tape it to your scale or mirror, punch one center top hole and use a suction hook on your mirror, or punch two top holes and use ribbon.

Have fun making these and let me know what you come up with!

Free Compliments!

2009-07-23T14:23:00.013-04:00

I'm at Parish Cafe working on my book with my writing buddy, Laura. Since it started to drizzle, we moved from our patio table inside into the too cool air conditioning. Good thing I brought my favorite (although holey) cashmere sweater. But, back to the point...

Today's newspaper is lying on the big farm table where we are now camped out with our computers. An article caught my eye and inspired me to immediately halt progress on my book and write a blog post about it. It made me happy, and I want to share the warm fuzzy.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, two Purdue University undergraduates, Brett Westcott and Cameron Brown, started complimenting students every Wednesday on their campus outside the chemistry building. They noticed how encouraged people seemed by their efforts, so they kept at it. (I for one, could have used some compliments after I left my college chemistry class.)

A U-tube video of "The Compliment Guys" went viral, and now they are on a 10-city bus tour sponsored by Kodak. How nuts is that? I love that even though they have corporate sponsorship, they still use a handmade sign that says, "Free Compliments." (I'm all about handmade. No glitter though. Well, they are boys.) Since they are helping people to look on the bright side of life, they've named their trip, "The Bright Side Tour."